Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 34 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Engaged To Change
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 23 | Aired on 03.11.2014
Jessica: "Detective Holbrook! Am I talking really loud? I'm drunk."
Gabe: "I had a haircut to be even more dreamy. Sorry your life sucks so bad but can I..."
Jessica: "More about this investigation? My dead daughter has to rest at some point."
Gabe: "We don't know that she's in that grave. One of the pics you gave RWPD showed Ali with a broken right arm, but the coroner never showed a fracture in..."
Jessica: "What, like an evil arm twin or something? Coroner's obviously bad at arms."
Gabe: "I'm afraid the only way to know for certain is if we exhume the body (again)."
Jessica: "That's not happening. But for all our sakes, could you say the word exhume like about a hundred thousand million more times with that voice?"
Seriously. Who knew that was the most beautiful word in the English language. Could not have predicted that.
UPSTAIRS
Ashley finds herself in Ali's room -- not the guestroom she is looking for -- staring around at all of Alison's exceedingly weird shit. (And noting that new bedclothes every week honestly do guard against mustiness.) New to the room are bags of shopping clothes like a teen girl might wear, and scarves like a gypsy fortuneteller might wear, and down in the bag is a receipt showing that Jessica bought all this crap yesterday. Even Ashley, who knows nothing of A or the lively Alison DiLaurentis's circumambulations or Jessica's many latest rampages, is like, "How curious."
Which is when Jessica shows up and starts slapping her around the face for digging around in her dead daughter's room when she's supposed to be fetching placecards from the guestroom, which this is fucking not. Ashley -- who has never seen the sun set on a day when she hadn't been viciously upbraided by her employer -- just settles into the torrent of her rage and is like, "Sorry?" That resigned, guilty, hurt face we've seen so many times.
Sorry I killed a fake architect, sorry I bribed a public official with straight-up fucking. Sorry my daughter bullied your daughter into puking seafood parfait on your wedding dress. Sorry I stole an old dead lady's money and put it in a lasagna box. Sorry my daughter's boyfriend's uncle-father stole a churchbell. Sorry I tried to kill a cop and then abruptly remembered you should never kill a cop and then ran around in the mud in my heels for a while. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
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