Episode Report Card 127 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT "Shiver Me Bitches!"
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2004.10.03
Meanwhile, down at the wheel of the Doormat's car, Pepper rants into her phone at the FBI lab "back east," bitching out some poor functionary regarding the blood sample she forwarded for testing "three weeks ago." Apparently, the lab's misplaced the sample. Or the results. I'm not sure which, but then again, I don't really care, for reasons soon to be explained at length and with a great many four-letter words. Pepper grumbles in frustration, snaps shut her cell phone, and peeves, "I hate the Feds!" And that's totally not a cop-show cliché at all, because Pepper Anderson is the most original and super-wonderful police character any of us has seen on television ever, and if you dare to disagree then you are clearly just jealous. "So," the Doormat wonders, by way of making conversation, "where'd you get the blood sample?" You'd think the Doormat would have asked her that question at some point in the last three weeks, but you'd be horribly, wretchedly wrong, because the Doormat is an imbecile. Just like everyone else on this godforsaken show. "From Piper's bedroom," Pepper replies, "when I was curiously knocked out." No. No, you didn't get the goddamned blood sample from Piper's fucking bedroom when you were "curiously knocked out," you stupid fucking bint, because you were curiously fucking knocked out as soon as you entered the fucking room, and you know what? WE WERE ALL REMINDED OF THAT FACT AT THE TOP OF THE HOUR. Hey, Hacks Responsible For This Mess! Come over here. I want to let you in on a little secret: Whatever the purpose of the suddenly appearing previouslies on this show may be, I can assure you it is not to set up asinine fucking continuity errors in the episode present, you fucking morons. Jesus. Christ!