Episode Report Card 127 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT "Shiver Me Bitches!"
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2004.10.03
Up in the Bridal Boudoir, the neglectful Dolt lies unconscious on the bed with a book open on his chest. Tiny Gay Chris writhes beside him atop the comforter while the dead-eyed Psycho stares at them both with murderous intent. We find Piper, still clad in her ridiculous Dieterwear, gazing fondly at the trio from the doorway, as a freshly rejuvenated Raige bounds down the stairs from the attic. There's banter about the aging process before Raige wonders what "that Agent Brody guy" wanted. Piper admits she hasn't a clue before Raige redirects her attention towards the slumbering Dolt. The book's gone from his chest in this shot, but reappears in the next cut over to the bed after Raige mumbles something about the Dolt doing "a good job." Wish I could say the same for the continuity editor. The gals ponder the Dolt's many mysteries for a moment before Raige bids her sister goodnight and heads back up to the attic. No sooner has Raige vanished up the stairs than Elder Infanticide orbs in to take her place. "It's not over yet, you know," he opens. Piper spins around, shocked at the intrusion. "Just don't give up on him, Piper," he continues. "We're all going to need him back before The Gathering Storm." And with that, Elder Infanticide orbs right back out through the ceiling, leaving the violated Piper to very deliberately cross into her bedroom and lock the door behind her.
All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me, and EW! I am not recapping this. Phoebe arrives to apologize for skipping her "date" with Sparklies earlier that evening, and by way of apology has sex with him on her assistant's desk. No, I'm not kidding with that. And...scene!
Oh, and...episode! as well. How...long overdue. Next week, something happens, but I really couldn't tell you what that something is because the promo's all about The Amazing Incredible Heterosexual, Charisma Carpenter, and Nick Lachey. Watch it if you dare.