Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 37 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT What We Pretend To Be
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 08.20.2013
Spencer: "Fine. A's giving him stuff. His mother was probably murdered."Liars: "I ... guess that matters?"
Actually, that might work better than getting her drunk. Maybe if Emily has Toby to worry about she'll chill out on Hanna and everybody can just calm down, because right now the energy is so fucked up even Aria is yelling at Spencer, which is like a ... parallel universe where that's acceptable, a thing that can even happen in reality.
Meanwhile, Toby is bitching at the people at Palmer's facility, so I guess he's going for it. Somebody sends him a picture of a random car in a random driveway, and after a few seconds he figures something out, but I'm mystified by the whole thing for now. Later it will become clear that this is Palmer's abandoned car, parked in a random place, possibly chock full of Marion's recorded sessions, which would establish her mindset beyond anyone's ability to create or alter documentation, because they would be her actual voice.
Which, just look at that sentence and you can see that he is being a chump. Why would A set up this rabbit hole just to be like, "And now you have the actual truth, thanks for playing!"
THE BREW
Aria: "Whew, after a long day of browbeating Spencer I really needed this grown-up chocolate milk beverage. Who's that cute homeless guy over there staring daggers at me?"
Ezra: "IT'S ME EZRA FITZ I AM CRAZY NOW."
Aria: "Yeah, sorry about not answering your calls but you're a grownup harassing me on the phone, so..."
Ezra: "Can we talk later? I have very important news that is not relevant to anybody."
Jake: "Who's this homeless guy bothering you?"
Aria: "Nobody! I mean, it's Ezra. I mean, both."
Jake: "Oooohhhh. Weird."
Aria: "What's weird is, I am still in love with him even though you are perfect in every way, because I am a hot mess. But let's keep pretending until they turn the lights off."
Once he's gone Jake presents Aria with a big box: Turquoise cowboy boots, which he somehow has the magical power of guessing your shoe size, and then he sensuously slides it onto her foot like a Brokedown Cinderella, and they are adorable some more. He can put boots on me in a coffee shop any time, as they say. But also, boots are expensive and that's a very odd thing to just go ahead and do.
They're also a weird height for her body. Go higher or lower, but especially for somebody this short, that cowboy-cut length is just a recipe for making you look like you have chunky legs, which she doesn't. It looks good on some people, don't get me wrong -- that chunky-leg look that is so in vogue -- but these gross seafoam boots seem intended specifically to create the effect of a plump toddler in rainboots and nothin' else. Which even for Aria, that's kind of a rule-out. (Especially since the entire rest of the cast looks freaking amazing in their hick gear, which is its own mystery.)
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