Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Darkness Falls
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.01.2003
But they always do it. Always.
And Tall Crag's no different. He slams the hell out of that button, eliciting groans and creaks from the elevator machinery. Like, STOP THAT, dude! What, do you want to bring the whole damn elevator crashing to the...oh, never mind. After the ninth fist to the button, Tall Crag takes a breather, and it's then that they hear a mysterious beeping coming from the roof of the elevator. Yeah. It's not a carbon monoxide alarm, boys. It's the sound of your death, blipping away at you.
Sure enough, a second later, a bomb goes off and the elevator goes plummeting down. The muzak conveniently continues as our boys from the bloc freak the hell out. The elevator screeches to a halt, and Short Slav makes the announcement that it must be the emergency brakes that stopped them. Yeah, well, emergency brakes don't really matter when you're doing an homage to Speed, now do they? And with that, the elevator falls for its second, and final, time.
The boys lie dead in the bottom of the car as we hear the sound of something banging against the doors. Suddenly, they peel open and a pair of sleek Kenneth Coles are revealed. The shoes enter the car, a hand reaches down and grabs what looks like a wallet off one of the boys, and the shoes retreat. The camera pans up, and lo and behold, it's Sarkie! Good god, David Anders is cute. And his hair's doing this funky little curl-up thing at the back and mmmm...
Owen! What're you doing here? I thought you had that brotherly retreat thing in the Andes with Luke and Andrew! Huh? What? What, that stuff about David Anders? Oh, hush, honey. That's nothing. He's a mere plaything! You're the one I want to share my featherbed with! But if you bring that bizarre voodoo doll to bed again, I might be forced to reconsider my "plaything" assessment of David Anders and his adorable curl-up hair. Got it?
So, after the falling elevator bit, we're hit over the head with the Alias title placard before heading into the next scene, where Kendall explains just who in the hell Short Slav really was. Namely, a big Russian arms dealer. Or something. "Your ex-wife mentions --" Spy Daddy snaps his face up and goes, "I'd appreciate it if you'd refer to Irina Derevko by name. Or, at least, 'two-faced bitch.' Is that too much to ask?" Heh. I just made that last part up for me.
Spanky Kendall and Alfalfa Bristow go back and forth about how Irina listed Short Slav as a contact when she was debriefed and Sloane used to have dealings with him back at SD-6. Alfalfa announces that he'll talk to his girl Darla about her association with Short Slav and then walks off. Spanky's all, yeah, uh, sorry about the whole "ex-wife" thing, dude. Snicker snicker. Sneer sneer. Alfalfa just turns and is all, what? Don't be silly. Oh, and what's that on your shirt? Phhhfthhht! Gotcha!
Mama Hari's Den Of Delights. Lena Olin's back! Yay! Holy cheesecake. Is she ever HOT! Dudes. I have a full-on girl crush on her. Seriously. It's not right. Aaaaanyway, Jack's pressed up against the glass (no, not like THAT) with his hands on either side, sort of high up on the window. Like, I only mention it because I've never even SEEN Jack use his arms for anything other than making sure he doesn't look like C3PO when he walks. Putting him in this posture is probably significant, don't you think? He looks really relaxed and kind of sexy and sort of GQ suddenly. Plus, like, he has ARMS, people! And he's not afraid to use them!
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