|
1-15 2005.02.20 |
Impossible The cops question Mike for Mrs. Kravitz's murder, and reveal to Susan his drug-trafficking, murderous criminal record. Lynette screws Gay Matt out of a promotion he wanted. Miguel's roommate tries to boff Gabrielle to stave off The Gay. |
| Ep. | Title | Air/Pub'l | Author |
| 1-15 Recap |
Impossible Impossible - The cops question Mike for Mrs. Kravitz's murder, and reveal to Susan his drug-trafficking, murderous criminal record. Lynette screws Gay Matt out of a promotion he wanted. Miguel's roommate tries to boff Gabrielle to stave off The Gay. |
2005.02.20 2005.02.26 |
Heathen |
| 1-14 Recap |
Love Is In The Air Love Is In The Air - Lynette's kids have been stealing from all the neighbors -- including the cranky fabulous Kathryn Joosten. Mike breaks into a neighbor's house to snoop and gets shot. Rex finally admits to KimberBree that he wants to be dominated. |
2005.02.13 2005.02.19 |
Jessica |
| 1-13 Recap |
Your Fault Your Fault - Rex and KimberBree begin the legal division of their assets, although neither one of them seems completely committed to the divorce. George switches Rex's prescription in order to do him some bodily harm. Lynette discovers that Gay Matt's Dad, Ryan O'Neal, is having an affair and she acts like a total asshole about it. Paul tells Zack that Dana is VERY MUCH ALIVE! Miguel reappears to ask Gabrielle to marry him. |
2005.01.23 2005.01.29 |
Jessica |
| 1-12 Recap |
Every Day A Little Death Every Day A Little Death - Bodies are found. Toes are lost. Prescriptions are switched. Houses are ransacked. And Susan is covered in human remains. |
2005.01.16 2005.01.23 |
Jessica |
| 1-11 Recap |
Move On Move On - Mrs. Kravitz's sister turns up for the search for the missing nosy neighbor! Karl wants Susan back! KimberBree starts dating! Gay Matt has the hots for the nanny! And, finally, Gabrielle gets a job that lasts about two seconds before she calls Carlos's lawyer and tells him she's found her husband's passport, which she apparently fished out of the fire before it was destroyed. How very convenient. |
2005.01.09 2005.01.13 |
Jessica |
| 1-10 Recap |
Come Back To Me Come Back To Me - KimberBree finds out that Rex has been stepping out on her, and decides to make him pay. Lynette has issues with how competent Claire the Nanny is -- like, what do you WANT, Lynette? Carlos is still in jail, but Gabrielle is beginning to suspect that, like Britney Spears, he's not that innocent. Susan orders Zack back to his father's house, where Paul then acts all squirrelly and potentially abusive. You know, business as usual. |
2004.12.19 2004.12.22 |
Jessica |
| 1-9 Recap |
Suspicious Minds Suspicious Minds - Susan finds out about Gabrielle's affair with Miguel and gets really, actually, seriously mad about it. Miguel's mom overhears him talking about how he's boning an older woman, and it seems that she's turned Gabrielle in for statutory rape...but Carlos gets arrested instead. Zack has escaped Crazy Kids Home for the Crazy and is hiding out in Julie's room. Oh, Julie. And KimberBree throws urine on Rex, who's back to acting like an ass. |
2004.12.12 2004.12.18 |
Jessica |
| 1-8 Recap |
Guilty Guilty - Lynette finally cracks up and admits that she needs help. Susan discovers Mike's stash of money and weapons and then he discovers her discovery and breaks up with her despite the fact that, you know, they've never had a real date. KimberBree realizes that Andrew is a heartless, soulless mess of a kid. Mama Solis is in the hospital in a coma, and Carlos and Miguel are both wrecks, while Gabrielle feels bad about not feeling bad. Oh, and Creepy Paul kills Mrs. Kravitz. |
2004.11.28 2004.12.04 |
Jessica |
| 1-7 Recap |
Anything You Can Do Anything You Can Do - Mama Solis gets photographic proof of Miguel and Gabrielle's affair (mostly because Gabrielle is an idiot). Lynette continues her descent into drug addiction. Rex serves KimberBree with divorce papers. Susan continues to act ridiculously desperate -- no pun intended -- over Mike. Creepy Paul thinks that Edie sent Mary Alice The Note -- based on the flimsiest of evidence -- and pays Shaft to knock her off. |
2004.11.21 2004.11.26 |
Jessica |
| 1-6 Recap |
Running To Stand Still Running To Stand Still - Lynette deals with the Alpha Mom from Hell. Gabrielle attempts to blackmail Mama Solis by way of exploiting Mama Solis's gambling addiction, but shoots herself in the foot. Susan sends Julie into the local Psych ward to do recon on the imprisoned Zack. Finally, KimberBree is determined to get to the bottom of Rex's sexual issues and shows up at his hotel in a fur coat and a matching red bra and panty set. Marcia Cross is seriously hot and totally rules my world. |
2004.11.07 2004.11.12 |
Jessica |
| 1-5 Recap |
Come In, Stranger Come In, Stranger - Carlos's mother comes to visit, and he tells her he suspects that Gabrielle is cheating on him. Lynette and Gay Matt jump through hoops to get Pantywaist and Parcel into some fancy private school. Susan blah blah contrived blah finally kisses Mysterious Mike, who continues his mysterious habit of mysteriously nosing around the neighborhood. On the Mary Alice Mystery Tip, KimberBree befriends a very troubled and Christmas-obsessed Zack. Poor Zack is insane...or is he? |
2004.10.31 2004.11.05 |
Jessica |
| 1-4 Recap |
Who's That Woman? Who's That Woman? - Lynette thinks about putting her rambunctious twins on medication for ADHD. Susan gets blackmailed by Mrs. Kravitz, and is forced to set Mike up with Edie. KimberBree's son reacts badly to Rex's moving out of the house. And, finally, the girls give Creepy Paul The Note. |
2004.10.24 2004.10.30 |
Jessica |
| 1-3 Recap |
Pretty Little Picture Pretty Little Picture - Rex announces that he and KimberBree are in counseling. Susan accidentally locks herself out of the house, buck-naked. Gabrielle gets caught making out with Miguel by her newest neighbor -- a little girl, who basically blackmails Gabrielle into being her friend. Paul, Mr. Mary Alice, is a totally freaky creep show who may or may not be drugging his son. Gay Matt does a whole lot of pooh-poohing of Lynette's responsibilities as a stay-at-home mom, until he has to spend an evening with the hellspawn. |
2004.10.17 2004.10.21 |
Jessica |
| 1-2 Recap |
Ah, But Underneath Ah, But Underneath - Lynette struggles to control her three terrible hellions, and eventually takes the advice of Wisteria Lane's own Mrs. Kravitz, leaving them by the side of the road to teach them a lesson. KimberBree and Rex go to marriage counseling to try to save their relationship. Gabrielle has her own continuing relationship issues, namely that she realizes that Hot Gardener Miguel is kinda sorta totally in love with her, and it's going to be a problem, what with how she's married and all. Susan, in the midst of attempting to get on Mike's good side, almost kills the dog that allegedly belonged to Mike's Poor Dead (probably fictional) wife. Mike's kitchen is still full of maps, notes, money, and firearms and he's totally either a hired killer or a Fed. On the mystery tip: Mr. Mary Alice takes the chest he dug up from the pool, wrapped it up in plastic threw it into the lake. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't know it popped right back to the surface. |
2004.10.11 2004.10.15 |
Jessica |
| 1-1 Recap |
Pilot Pilot - In which we meet our players: dead narrator Mary Alice; miserable stay-at-home-mom Lynette; former model Gabrielle, who is trapped in a cruddy marriage and comforts herself with the attentions of her hot gardener; single mom Susan, who's got her eyes on Mike, the Hot-But-Mysterious Plumber/CIA Agent across the street; and KimberBree, who makes the Stepford Wives look like a bunch of dirty hippies, and who almost (accidentally?) kills her husband when he announces that he wants a divorce. All this, plus blackmail ahoy! |
2004.10.02 2004.11.19 |
Jessica |
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