Episode Report Card Montykins: B+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Step One: Cut a Hole in a Box
By Montykins | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 06.09.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.So Robb's definitely dead. Arya sees his decapitated body being carried through the burning Stark encampment, except that his wolf's head has been attached onto his neck. Later on, she and Sandor pass a campfire where a Frey soldier is boasting about having done the needlework, so she hops off the horse and stabs him to death. Sandor kills the other men at the fire, and I can only assume this is the beginning of a three-kingdom killing spree where Sandor and Arya have wacky misadventures.
Tyrion and Sansa are getting along a little better, but that only lasts until everyone at King's Landing learns that Robb and Catelyn are dead. Joffrey announces to the Small Council that at his wedding, he's planning on serving Sansa Robb's head. Tyrion says some things, then Joffrey says some things, and the result is that Tywin tells King Joffrey to shut up and go to bed. Then he tells Tyrion to hurry up and generate a Lannister boy to run the North.
Until that day comes, the North is under the control of Roose Bolton, who's currently barely tolerating Walder Frey's gloating. He provides a valuable service, though, by revealing that the guy who's been torturing Theon is his bastard Ramsay Snow. Ramsay also gets some screentime, in which he eats a pork sausage and renames Theon "Reek." And he mails Theon's severed penis to Balon Greyjoy, who kind of doesn't care what happens to Theon. But Theon's sister Yara vows to save him, so that's something.
Bran's crew reaches the Nightfort and shares some ghost stories. But the weird noises aren't ghosts; they're Sam and Gilly! We have a storyline crossover! Sam shows them how to get through the Wall and also hands over some of the dragonglass weapons he's been carrying. Then Sam runs down to Castle Black, where he warns Maester Aemon about all the White Walkers and Walking Dead and whatnot that are on their way.
Davos is not happy about Melisandre's plan to sacrifice Gendry. And you can imagine how Gendry feels about it. So Davos gives Gendry a rowboat, which is sort of an escape plan. Stannis is all set to execute him, but Davos tells him about the White Walkers and so on. And even Melisandre agrees that this seems important, so Davos gets to stick around as Stannis's Hand.
Jon Snow is ambushed while washing his wounds. But it's only Ygritte, and he knows she won't hurt him. So she only shoots him with three arrows as he rides away, which means he's still alive when he reaches Castle Black.
Cersei seems unhappy about the way Joffrey is turning out, and she takes her unhappiness out on Tyrion, who's also moping. But then Jaime comes home, and Cersei's happy again! Well, really she just stares at him and his missing hand for a while, but I have confidence she'll smile eventually. But even more unhappy than Tyrion and Cersei put together is Shae, although she declines Varys's offer of a bag of diamonds to get out of town.
And finally, Daenerys meets the inhabitants of Yunkai. They're a bunch of newly freed slaves who are all calling her mother. They pick her up and she crowd-surfs into her new city. There are worse ways to travel.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Varys leaves next, but when Tyrion starts to go, Tywin won’t let him. Tyrion observes, “You just sent the most powerful man in Westeros to bed without his supper.” Tywin says he’s not the most powerful man in Westeros, which Tyrion obviously knows. Nobody really thinks Joffrey is powerful, except for Joffrey. Tyrion says that armies give power, rather than crowns. Although Robb had armies, and that didn’t work out all that great for him. They establish that Walder Frey will get the public credit and blame for Robb’s death, although Tyrion knows that Tywin clearly orchestrated the whole thing. Tywin explains that he thinks it’s better to kill a dozen people at dinner, rather than ten thousand in battle. I notice he doesn’t mention all those Stark soldiers getting massacred out in the camp. Anyway, Tywin did it to end the war and defend the Lannisters. Tyrion thinks that kind of ambush is the sort of thing that the Northerners will never forget, but that doesn’t worry Tywin: “Good. Let them remember what happens when they march on the South.” I don’t know about that. People in the North never seem to worry about the consequences when they decide to do what they think is right.
So! It’s time to move on with the plot. The Stark men are dead, and Winterfell is a ruin. Tywin declares that Roose Bolton will be warden of the North until Tyrion’s son by Sansa comes of age. And speaking of that, he adds, “I believe you still have some work to do on that score.” Tyrion thinks Sansa’s not going to be in the mood for love after finding out about her brother and mother, but Tywin doesn’t care so much about what kind of mood Sansa is in. I’m pretty sure Tywin has had it with everybody’s “moods” and “feelings” and “desires.” He wants to just give everybody a list of tasks and have them go away and get them done. Tyrion says, “I will not rape her.” Tywin changes the topic slightly and says, “The house that puts family first will always defeat the house that puts the whims and wishes of its sons and daughters first.” In other words, get to work. Tyrion says it’s easy for Tywin to preach devotion to the family when he’s the one who gets to decide what everyone’s supposed to do. All the tasks Tywin has to perform just happen to line up with what Tywin wants to do. But when Tywin’s asked to name a time that he actually put the family ahead of his own desires, he has an easy answer: “The day that you were born!” He wanted to drown Tyrion, but he let him live and brought him up as his son because he was a Lannister. It’s harsh, but it’s nice to see Tywin explicitly calling Tyrion a Lannister. Even if he might have been doing it sarcastically, he’s still including him in the family.