Episode Report Card Montykins: B+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Step One: Cut a Hole in a Box
By Montykins | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 06.09.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.So Robb's definitely dead. Arya sees his decapitated body being carried through the burning Stark encampment, except that his wolf's head has been attached onto his neck. Later on, she and Sandor pass a campfire where a Frey soldier is boasting about having done the needlework, so she hops off the horse and stabs him to death. Sandor kills the other men at the fire, and I can only assume this is the beginning of a three-kingdom killing spree where Sandor and Arya have wacky misadventures.
Tyrion and Sansa are getting along a little better, but that only lasts until everyone at King's Landing learns that Robb and Catelyn are dead. Joffrey announces to the Small Council that at his wedding, he's planning on serving Sansa Robb's head. Tyrion says some things, then Joffrey says some things, and the result is that Tywin tells King Joffrey to shut up and go to bed. Then he tells Tyrion to hurry up and generate a Lannister boy to run the North.
Until that day comes, the North is under the control of Roose Bolton, who's currently barely tolerating Walder Frey's gloating. He provides a valuable service, though, by revealing that the guy who's been torturing Theon is his bastard Ramsay Snow. Ramsay also gets some screentime, in which he eats a pork sausage and renames Theon "Reek." And he mails Theon's severed penis to Balon Greyjoy, who kind of doesn't care what happens to Theon. But Theon's sister Yara vows to save him, so that's something.
Bran's crew reaches the Nightfort and shares some ghost stories. But the weird noises aren't ghosts; they're Sam and Gilly! We have a storyline crossover! Sam shows them how to get through the Wall and also hands over some of the dragonglass weapons he's been carrying. Then Sam runs down to Castle Black, where he warns Maester Aemon about all the White Walkers and Walking Dead and whatnot that are on their way.
Davos is not happy about Melisandre's plan to sacrifice Gendry. And you can imagine how Gendry feels about it. So Davos gives Gendry a rowboat, which is sort of an escape plan. Stannis is all set to execute him, but Davos tells him about the White Walkers and so on. And even Melisandre agrees that this seems important, so Davos gets to stick around as Stannis's Hand.
Jon Snow is ambushed while washing his wounds. But it's only Ygritte, and he knows she won't hurt him. So she only shoots him with three arrows as he rides away, which means he's still alive when he reaches Castle Black.
Cersei seems unhappy about the way Joffrey is turning out, and she takes her unhappiness out on Tyrion, who's also moping. But then Jaime comes home, and Cersei's happy again! Well, really she just stares at him and his missing hand for a while, but I have confidence she'll smile eventually. But even more unhappy than Tyrion and Cersei put together is Shae, although she declines Varys's offer of a bag of diamonds to get out of town.
And finally, Daenerys meets the inhabitants of Yunkai. They're a bunch of newly freed slaves who are all calling her mother. They pick her up and she crowd-surfs into her new city. There are worse ways to travel.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Hey, it’s a dragonglass spearhead! Sam apparently has several, so it’s not quite as big a deal that he left that one when Gilly and he ran from the dead White Walker. He tells Bran about how says the dragonglass weapons were buried at the Fist of the First Men. And about how they kill white walkers, which seems like valuable information for anyone about to go north of the Wall. On being told that no one’s killed a White Walker in ever so long, he shrugs, “Well, suppose someone had to be the first.” Bran gives the spearhead to Hodor. And Sam has some arrowheads for Meera, which is good thinking. Sam says, “I got lucky with one of them. There are more. Many more. And for every one of them, the dead men…more than you could count.” He really thinks Bran should come to Castle Black, but Bran is determined to go north etc. etc. We just had this discussion with Osha. So Hodor carries Bran through the tunnel to the north, where they walk into a bright white light like the ending of Cube. Sam and Gilly are left in the tunnel.
Off to the dungeons of Dragonstone, currently occupied by Gendry. Davos is here to visit him, but Gendry is in no mood for small talk. He complains that the highborn are always vicious to people like him. Davos says he’s not highborn: “I was born in Fleabottom, just like you.” Gendry sneers at this, saying that clearly Davos is his friend, right? Yeah, it seems like all Davos is saying is that some lowborn people are also vicious to Gendry. Lucky Gendry! Davos proves his origins because knows the location of Gin Alley and everything. He’s from a part of Fleabottom where the shit ran right across his front door. Apparently Gendry’s Street of Steel was the fancy part of town. Which makes sense, since the blacksmith he worked for would have had fancy clients. Gendry says he’d never been with a woman, so he was easy prey for Melisandre to lure him into bed. Davos says how he became a lord is a long story, and Gendry is very sarcastic about how busy he is, what with all the sitting around in the dungeon that he has to do. Davos boils it down to helping Stannis out and getting his fingers snipped. He did it because he didn’t want his son to step over a river of shit every time he went out his front door. But now his son is dead. Gendry asks, “How’d he die?” Davos says, “Followin’ me.” Then Davos leaves, and Gendry has some time to reflect on his loneliness. Good one, Gendry. Maybe if you weren’t a jerk to your only friend, he’d come and talk to you more often.