Episode Report Card Montykins: B+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Step One: Cut a Hole in a Box
By Montykins | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 06.09.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.So Robb's definitely dead. Arya sees his decapitated body being carried through the burning Stark encampment, except that his wolf's head has been attached onto his neck. Later on, she and Sandor pass a campfire where a Frey soldier is boasting about having done the needlework, so she hops off the horse and stabs him to death. Sandor kills the other men at the fire, and I can only assume this is the beginning of a three-kingdom killing spree where Sandor and Arya have wacky misadventures.
Tyrion and Sansa are getting along a little better, but that only lasts until everyone at King's Landing learns that Robb and Catelyn are dead. Joffrey announces to the Small Council that at his wedding, he's planning on serving Sansa Robb's head. Tyrion says some things, then Joffrey says some things, and the result is that Tywin tells King Joffrey to shut up and go to bed. Then he tells Tyrion to hurry up and generate a Lannister boy to run the North.
Until that day comes, the North is under the control of Roose Bolton, who's currently barely tolerating Walder Frey's gloating. He provides a valuable service, though, by revealing that the guy who's been torturing Theon is his bastard Ramsay Snow. Ramsay also gets some screentime, in which he eats a pork sausage and renames Theon "Reek." And he mails Theon's severed penis to Balon Greyjoy, who kind of doesn't care what happens to Theon. But Theon's sister Yara vows to save him, so that's something.
Bran's crew reaches the Nightfort and shares some ghost stories. But the weird noises aren't ghosts; they're Sam and Gilly! We have a storyline crossover! Sam shows them how to get through the Wall and also hands over some of the dragonglass weapons he's been carrying. Then Sam runs down to Castle Black, where he warns Maester Aemon about all the White Walkers and Walking Dead and whatnot that are on their way.
Davos is not happy about Melisandre's plan to sacrifice Gendry. And you can imagine how Gendry feels about it. So Davos gives Gendry a rowboat, which is sort of an escape plan. Stannis is all set to execute him, but Davos tells him about the White Walkers and so on. And even Melisandre agrees that this seems important, so Davos gets to stick around as Stannis's Hand.
Jon Snow is ambushed while washing his wounds. But it's only Ygritte, and he knows she won't hurt him. So she only shoots him with three arrows as he rides away, which means he's still alive when he reaches Castle Black.
Cersei seems unhappy about the way Joffrey is turning out, and she takes her unhappiness out on Tyrion, who's also moping. But then Jaime comes home, and Cersei's happy again! Well, really she just stares at him and his missing hand for a while, but I have confidence she'll smile eventually. But even more unhappy than Tyrion and Cersei put together is Shae, although she declines Varys's offer of a bag of diamonds to get out of town.
And finally, Daenerys meets the inhabitants of Yunkai. They're a bunch of newly freed slaves who are all calling her mother. They pick her up and she crowd-surfs into her new city. There are worse ways to travel.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Tyrion finds Sansa. She’s moping. She’s kind of always moping, but this time it’s clear that she’s heard about Robb and Catelyn. He turns and walks away. She resumes the mopery.
Bran’s crew finds an empty castle. I’m so jealous of all these empty castles around the place. There’s a well, which is providing Hodor some innocent enjoyment. It turns out that if you like hearing things echo, the word “HODOR!” is fairly resonant. Bran tells him to knock it off. Then he explains that he’s nervous because there are a lot of stories about this place. Jojen likes horrible stories, so he encourages him to continue. Bran’s story concerns a cook in the Night’s Watch. When the king was visiting the Nightfort, the cook killed his son and served him in a pie. The king liked it so much that he asked for a second slice. So the gods turned the cook into a giant white rat that could only eat its own young. And it still roams the Nightfort, because that’s the sort of thing you do when you’ve been cursed by the gods. Meera mocks the idea that the gods would go to the trouble of cursing someone just for being a murderer. Bran says it was for killing a guest under his roof, which is “something the gods can’t forgive.” First, note that this is apparently the Nightfort, which is the place that Sam and Gilly were headed for. Second, we know someone who just recently killed a guest under his roof. That’s quite a coincidence!
And speaking of Walder Frey, here he is! He’s eating in his bloodstained dining hall, although he has servants trying to scrub the floors. Roose Bolton is listening to Walder brag about how well his ambush went. This also gives Walder the opportunity to drop some exposition about how Edmure spent his wedding night in a dungeon. The Blackfish escaped, but Walder doesn’t care about one old Tully. He’s got Tywin Lannister on his side, and now he’s Lord of Riverrun. He segues into the general topic of how everyone looks down on him: “People snigger when I marry a young girl, but who said a word when Jon Arryn married that little Tully bitch?” Roose points out that he probably needs a new young girl. Roose says Robb ignored his advice at every turn, so he feels no second thoughts about betraying the self-proclaimed “young wolf.” Roose says he might move to Winterfell after the war, although it’s in ruins right now. Walder asks what exactly happened up there, since after all the ravens got killed, nobody heard anything. Roose says he sent his bastard to root out Theon. They told the gang that sacked Winterfell that Robb Stark offered amnesty if they gave us Theon. And the Ironborn turned on Theon. Roose says, “They handed him over, trussed and hooded. But Ramsay…Ramsay has his own way of doing things.”