Episode Report Card Montykins: B+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Step One: Cut a Hole in a Box
By Montykins | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 06.09.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.So Robb's definitely dead. Arya sees his decapitated body being carried through the burning Stark encampment, except that his wolf's head has been attached onto his neck. Later on, she and Sandor pass a campfire where a Frey soldier is boasting about having done the needlework, so she hops off the horse and stabs him to death. Sandor kills the other men at the fire, and I can only assume this is the beginning of a three-kingdom killing spree where Sandor and Arya have wacky misadventures.
Tyrion and Sansa are getting along a little better, but that only lasts until everyone at King's Landing learns that Robb and Catelyn are dead. Joffrey announces to the Small Council that at his wedding, he's planning on serving Sansa Robb's head. Tyrion says some things, then Joffrey says some things, and the result is that Tywin tells King Joffrey to shut up and go to bed. Then he tells Tyrion to hurry up and generate a Lannister boy to run the North.
Until that day comes, the North is under the control of Roose Bolton, who's currently barely tolerating Walder Frey's gloating. He provides a valuable service, though, by revealing that the guy who's been torturing Theon is his bastard Ramsay Snow. Ramsay also gets some screentime, in which he eats a pork sausage and renames Theon "Reek." And he mails Theon's severed penis to Balon Greyjoy, who kind of doesn't care what happens to Theon. But Theon's sister Yara vows to save him, so that's something.
Bran's crew reaches the Nightfort and shares some ghost stories. But the weird noises aren't ghosts; they're Sam and Gilly! We have a storyline crossover! Sam shows them how to get through the Wall and also hands over some of the dragonglass weapons he's been carrying. Then Sam runs down to Castle Black, where he warns Maester Aemon about all the White Walkers and Walking Dead and whatnot that are on their way.
Davos is not happy about Melisandre's plan to sacrifice Gendry. And you can imagine how Gendry feels about it. So Davos gives Gendry a rowboat, which is sort of an escape plan. Stannis is all set to execute him, but Davos tells him about the White Walkers and so on. And even Melisandre agrees that this seems important, so Davos gets to stick around as Stannis's Hand.
Jon Snow is ambushed while washing his wounds. But it's only Ygritte, and he knows she won't hurt him. So she only shoots him with three arrows as he rides away, which means he's still alive when he reaches Castle Black.
Cersei seems unhappy about the way Joffrey is turning out, and she takes her unhappiness out on Tyrion, who's also moping. But then Jaime comes home, and Cersei's happy again! Well, really she just stares at him and his missing hand for a while, but I have confidence she'll smile eventually. But even more unhappy than Tyrion and Cersei put together is Shae, although she declines Varys's offer of a bag of diamonds to get out of town.
And finally, Daenerys meets the inhabitants of Yunkai. They're a bunch of newly freed slaves who are all calling her mother. They pick her up and she crowd-surfs into her new city. There are worse ways to travel.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Cersei is sitting in her bedroom, looking at a weird bone of some sort. It’s probably one of Joffrey’s baby toys. Jaime enters behind her and says, “Cersei?” She looks around and it takes her a second to recognize him. And about when she’s figured out who it is, he looks down at his stump. This scene probably starts getting really interesting immediately after they cut away.
Melisandre and Stannis are very angry at Davos, who doesn’t deny setting Gendry free. In fact, he feels good about saving Gendry’s life. What a monster. Melisandre says that by saving one life, he’s doomed tens of thousands. They were probably going to die anyway. But then, Gendry has probably fallen out of the rowboat and drowned. This isn’t a good world for optimists. Stannis sentences Davos to die. But since he’s still Hand, Davos formally advises him against it: “You’re gonna need me.” He has Stannis read the note. The Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch is dead. And, of course, “It’s coming. For all of us.” See? The doom is always coming to everyone. Stannis hands the note to Melisandre, who reads it and burns it. And Melisandre somewhat surprisingly takes Davos’s side: “This war of five kings means nothing. The true war lies to the north, my king. Death marches on the wall. Only you can stop him.” Davos says someone needs to rebuild Stannis’s army and bring in the sellswords and Melisandre agrees! Stannis laughs grimly (which is the way he does everything). He tells Davos, “You’ve been saved by that fire god you like to mock. You’re in his army now.” He was in the fire god’s army already, wasn’t he?
Daenerys stands outside the gates of Yunkai surrounded by her army. Selmy says the people of Yunkai will come to her. Jorah says she didn’t conquer them; she liberated them. Daenerys isn’t so sure: “People learn to love their chains.”
A bunch of people in chains and togas comes out. Daenerys’s army is ready for them! More ready than they need to be, it seems to me. Just because you have spears doesn’t mean you have to point them at everyone you see. Missandei does the introductions: This here is the Mother of Dragons. But when she gets to “It is to her you owe your freedom!” Daenerys stops her. Since Missandei was speaking High Valyrian, Daenerys is able to take over: “You do not owe me your freedom. I cannot give it to you. Your freedom is not mine to give.” She says they need to take it for themselves. They start shouting ,”Mhysa!” Missandei says it means “Mother.” The Yunkish start swarming around, and the army gets ready for an attack which is obviously not coming.