Episode Report Card Montykins: B+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Step One: Cut a Hole in a Box
By Montykins | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 06.09.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.So Robb's definitely dead. Arya sees his decapitated body being carried through the burning Stark encampment, except that his wolf's head has been attached onto his neck. Later on, she and Sandor pass a campfire where a Frey soldier is boasting about having done the needlework, so she hops off the horse and stabs him to death. Sandor kills the other men at the fire, and I can only assume this is the beginning of a three-kingdom killing spree where Sandor and Arya have wacky misadventures.
Tyrion and Sansa are getting along a little better, but that only lasts until everyone at King's Landing learns that Robb and Catelyn are dead. Joffrey announces to the Small Council that at his wedding, he's planning on serving Sansa Robb's head. Tyrion says some things, then Joffrey says some things, and the result is that Tywin tells King Joffrey to shut up and go to bed. Then he tells Tyrion to hurry up and generate a Lannister boy to run the North.
Until that day comes, the North is under the control of Roose Bolton, who's currently barely tolerating Walder Frey's gloating. He provides a valuable service, though, by revealing that the guy who's been torturing Theon is his bastard Ramsay Snow. Ramsay also gets some screentime, in which he eats a pork sausage and renames Theon "Reek." And he mails Theon's severed penis to Balon Greyjoy, who kind of doesn't care what happens to Theon. But Theon's sister Yara vows to save him, so that's something.
Bran's crew reaches the Nightfort and shares some ghost stories. But the weird noises aren't ghosts; they're Sam and Gilly! We have a storyline crossover! Sam shows them how to get through the Wall and also hands over some of the dragonglass weapons he's been carrying. Then Sam runs down to Castle Black, where he warns Maester Aemon about all the White Walkers and Walking Dead and whatnot that are on their way.
Davos is not happy about Melisandre's plan to sacrifice Gendry. And you can imagine how Gendry feels about it. So Davos gives Gendry a rowboat, which is sort of an escape plan. Stannis is all set to execute him, but Davos tells him about the White Walkers and so on. And even Melisandre agrees that this seems important, so Davos gets to stick around as Stannis's Hand.
Jon Snow is ambushed while washing his wounds. But it's only Ygritte, and he knows she won't hurt him. So she only shoots him with three arrows as he rides away, which means he's still alive when he reaches Castle Black.
Cersei seems unhappy about the way Joffrey is turning out, and she takes her unhappiness out on Tyrion, who's also moping. But then Jaime comes home, and Cersei's happy again! Well, really she just stares at him and his missing hand for a while, but I have confidence she'll smile eventually. But even more unhappy than Tyrion and Cersei put together is Shae, although she declines Varys's offer of a bag of diamonds to get out of town.
And finally, Daenerys meets the inhabitants of Yunkai. They're a bunch of newly freed slaves who are all calling her mother. They pick her up and she crowd-surfs into her new city. There are worse ways to travel.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Sandor and Arya ride their horse down the road. It’s very pastoral. They pass a group of Frey soldiers sitting around a campfire and boasting about how great they are. As Sandor and Arya pass, one of the Freys says, “I tell you what, though, the hardest thing was getting that wolf’s head to stay on the body.” Arya hops down. This guy says he was one of the ones that sewed the head on. He’s explaining how he had to hook the needle around the collarbone when Arya walks up and acts pathetic. She asks for some of their food, and he snaps, “Does fuck off mean something different where you’re from. She offers him some money, and it’s the coin she got from Jaqen H’ghar. She drops it on the dirt, then drops it. When the man reaches for it, she stabs him over and over again. Then Sandor comes in and kills the other three pretty brutally. Sandor did not realize that Arya had stolen a knife from him, although I think he should probably have just assumed it. He asks if it’s the first man she’s killed, and it is. She doesn’t mention the boy. Sandor says to tell him the next time she’s planning on doing something like that. Then he sits down at the fire and starts eating, because it’s not like he’s actually opposed to killing people and taking their stuff. He just wants to know when riding time is over and killing time has started. She takes her coin from the ground and whispers, “Valar Morghulis.” As you may remember, this is the phrase Jaqen taught her. She’s supposed to give this coin to anyone from Braavos warrior and say “Valar Morghulis,” and then Jaqen will come find her. I would like that to happen, because I miss Jaqen. He was fun.
Jon Snow washes his facial wounds in a pool. I guess he got away. No, wait. Ygritte’s there! She points her arrow at him. Perhaps he did not get away after all. He tells her he didn’t have a choice, and she always knew what he was. She did! She never once thought he was sincere in his desire to leave the Night’s Watch. He tells her, “I know you won’t hurt me.” She says, of course, “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” Oh yeah? Then kill him. That’ll show him. He says, “I do know some things. I know I love you. I know you love me. I have to go home now.” She emotes. He turns and she shoots him in the shoulder. Well! He climbs up on the horse. She shoots him in the leg. He rides off. As he goes, she shoots him one more time. He gets over the hill and away, but I think he’s learned a valuable lesson about stopping to bathe your wounds when Ygritte’s after you.