Episode Report Card Montykins: B+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Step One: Cut a Hole in a Box
By Montykins | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 06.09.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.So Robb's definitely dead. Arya sees his decapitated body being carried through the burning Stark encampment, except that his wolf's head has been attached onto his neck. Later on, she and Sandor pass a campfire where a Frey soldier is boasting about having done the needlework, so she hops off the horse and stabs him to death. Sandor kills the other men at the fire, and I can only assume this is the beginning of a three-kingdom killing spree where Sandor and Arya have wacky misadventures.
Tyrion and Sansa are getting along a little better, but that only lasts until everyone at King's Landing learns that Robb and Catelyn are dead. Joffrey announces to the Small Council that at his wedding, he's planning on serving Sansa Robb's head. Tyrion says some things, then Joffrey says some things, and the result is that Tywin tells King Joffrey to shut up and go to bed. Then he tells Tyrion to hurry up and generate a Lannister boy to run the North.
Until that day comes, the North is under the control of Roose Bolton, who's currently barely tolerating Walder Frey's gloating. He provides a valuable service, though, by revealing that the guy who's been torturing Theon is his bastard Ramsay Snow. Ramsay also gets some screentime, in which he eats a pork sausage and renames Theon "Reek." And he mails Theon's severed penis to Balon Greyjoy, who kind of doesn't care what happens to Theon. But Theon's sister Yara vows to save him, so that's something.
Bran's crew reaches the Nightfort and shares some ghost stories. But the weird noises aren't ghosts; they're Sam and Gilly! We have a storyline crossover! Sam shows them how to get through the Wall and also hands over some of the dragonglass weapons he's been carrying. Then Sam runs down to Castle Black, where he warns Maester Aemon about all the White Walkers and Walking Dead and whatnot that are on their way.
Davos is not happy about Melisandre's plan to sacrifice Gendry. And you can imagine how Gendry feels about it. So Davos gives Gendry a rowboat, which is sort of an escape plan. Stannis is all set to execute him, but Davos tells him about the White Walkers and so on. And even Melisandre agrees that this seems important, so Davos gets to stick around as Stannis's Hand.
Jon Snow is ambushed while washing his wounds. But it's only Ygritte, and he knows she won't hurt him. So she only shoots him with three arrows as he rides away, which means he's still alive when he reaches Castle Black.
Cersei seems unhappy about the way Joffrey is turning out, and she takes her unhappiness out on Tyrion, who's also moping. But then Jaime comes home, and Cersei's happy again! Well, really she just stares at him and his missing hand for a while, but I have confidence she'll smile eventually. But even more unhappy than Tyrion and Cersei put together is Shae, although she declines Varys's offer of a bag of diamonds to get out of town.
And finally, Daenerys meets the inhabitants of Yunkai. They're a bunch of newly freed slaves who are all calling her mother. They pick her up and she crowd-surfs into her new city. There are worse ways to travel.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!In Dragonstone’s war room, Melisandre picks some pieces off the war table and tosses them in the fire. Davos comes in and Stannis says Robb is dead. Melisandre says her faith has been rewarded. I’d like to take a moment to remind you that Stannis has the best war table. It’s really big, and it’s got landscape textures. Davos has decided he doesn’t care if Melisandre’s blood magic killed Robb, because uniting the seven kingdoms with blood magic is evil. Evil! Stannis changes the subject to the war table, which is totally okay with me. Aegon Targaryen had it carved and painted. And he won because he had dragons and magic. The lesson being that if you don’t have dragons, you’ll probably need magic. Davos says Gendry doesn’t need to be burnt as a human sacrifice if one drop of his blood killed Robb. Melisandre says a great gift requires a great sacrifice. Stannis looks out the window and again asks what the life of one bastard boy is against a kingdom. Davos answers, “Everything.” Stannis does not waver: “The boy must die.”
But in the very next shot, Davos goes into Gendry’s cell and hustles him outside. It’s time to go, kid. Davos gives him a rowboat with bread and water and some vague directions. “Aim for that star” isn’t that useful when it’s such a foggy night. He also tells Gendry not to drink seawater, which is pretty useful. Gendry is supposed to row for a day and a night, and he’ll get to a city where he can’t stay. Then he’ll keep the coast on his left until you reach King’s Landing. The goldcloaks don’t know his face so he’ll be fine. Gendry doesn’t know how to swim, so Davos tells him not to fall out. Gendry asks why he’s doing this, and he says, “Because it’s right. And because I’m a slow learner.” He tells Gendry to have a bowl of Brown for him when he reaches Fleabottom. Yuck. Like the kid hasn’t suffered enough?
Jon falls off his horse when he reaches Castle Black. He doesn’t look great, but he recognizes Pyp and Sam. Sam says to carry him inside.
King’s Landing. Jaime walks in the front gate, looking shabby. Not as shabby as when he was a mud-covered prisoner, but still not as shiny as he was at the beginning of the series. A guy with a cart calls him “country boy” and tells him to get out of the way. Brienne gives him a sympathetic look. They walk on through the market.