Episode Report Card Demian: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's Just Another Menstrual Monday
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.16.2004
Not!warts. The Diggler's frying up some Elder ass as Elder Q and a pair of his compatriots retaliate with some sporking electricity of their own. For reasons never explained, the Glamorous Ladies know exactly where to find the possessed Dolt, and so Raige orbs into the Not-So-Great Hall with Piper, Phoebe, and the potions designed to conquer the indifferently CGI'd doglike thingies. As Elder Q and another guy rush to a fallen comrade's side and thus divert their attention from the Diggler momentarily, the gals flip all three vials into the Diggler's chest, propelling the Dolt backwards and leaving The Would-Be Squiggler standing in his place. Piper raises her hands to freeze him, but he squiggles away with a look of mild amusement on his face. The Dolt pops back up, apparently unaware of anything that transpired while he was under The Squiggler's influence, only to find himself on the receiving end of Elder Q's electrical mojo. What a missed opportunity for some spectacular Dolt abuse, here. If Elder Q had actually crossed the room to pimp-smack the stupid Dolt into next week, it would have made my reel. This little zot that knocks the Dolt to the ground? Not so much. Piper prepares to unleash her Hands of Discontent, but Phoebe practically restrains her sister physically before the latter does anything rash. Just then, that assy blue moon rises, and I just remembered another goddamned thing that's wrong with this whole fucking mess. Full moons don't rise at midnight. They rise at roughly six in the evening, local time. You can look it up, if you don't believe me. God! HATE. I hate this show. Anyway, because Not!warts, which is supposedly on some difficult-to-reach plane of existence, now for some absolutely asinine reason has a glorious view of the city from Marin County, the light from the phenomenon floods the Not-So-Great Hall, and the Glam Gals morph into those stupid dog thingies, and I want to die. Elder Q and his little friend zap them with their mojo, knocking the dog thingies unconscious to the floor, and we slide into the final commercial break having no reason or desire to return. Ever.
Not!warts. Aftermath. Long, babbling story short, Elder Q has sent the Dolt elsewhere until the current situation resolves itself. He means to confine the Glamorous Ladies to Not!warts as well, but they convince him otherwise by noting that their transformation the previous evening was caused solely by the rare blue moon, and that's the only explanation we ever get for that. I'm just happy it's all over, and that we got through it without linking the transformation specifically to their menstrual cycles. Thank God for the WB's Standards and Practices department, which apparently hacked all references to bleeding from tonight's presentation. Of course, they left us with an episode that's three minutes shorter than the norm and horribly disjointed as a result, but hey. Better that than Raige saying, "Bloody, I got, but it ain't a dream," as the shooting script promised she would. In any event, Piper also refuses to track The Would-Be Squiggler to his likely employers until Elder Q returns the Dolt from his exile. After a bit of grumbling, Elder Q complies, and the Dolt orbs in briefly to join the ladies as they orb back towards the attic for some more Book abuse. Elder Q crosses his arms and sulks.