Episode Report Card Demian: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's Just Another Menstrual Monday
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.16.2004
Hell. The Would-Be Squiggler's shouting at the vault of his chamber, begging for protection from the avenging Manor Morons, but the Avatars, having no further use for him, remain silent. But I'm sure they're watching, because their lives really do seem to be that dull. The Ps enter the cavern as expected and pepper The Would-Be Squiggler with questions. He attempts to squiggle out without answering, but his squiggles are once again thwarted -- this time by Piper and her freezing. She then unfreezes his head alone, and it's sort of a cool effect, but that's only because every other goddamned effect this evening has been so wretchedly awful, this one looks brilliant by comparison. The Would-Be Squiggler's just about to narc on the Avatars when James Van Der Beek sweeps into the chamber to dust The Would-Be Squiggler with that scorching breath of his. For some reason, the Beek did not cloak himself from the Glamorous Ladies, so now the gals know the Dolt wasn't just seeing things. Christ. Even the Avatars are fucking dimwits. Way to ruin your plan to have the Ps run the Dolt out of town on a rail because they think he's a lunatic, you asshats.
A closing travelogue, slowed down considerably to vamp for time, escorts us back to Li'l Orphan Kerr's apartment the following morning. His cell phone chirps -- he really should look into a more masculine ring tone if he wants to protect his virile reputation -- and he answers to find Raige on the other end of the line, calling from the cordless in the Manor. Raige assures him that everyone made it through the latest crisis just fine, thanks very much, and proceeds to blow his mind by tossing out casual references to demonic possession and supernatural transformation and such. You see, while Li'l Orphan Kerr had proof of the existence of witches, his information on the rest of the magical world amounted to little more than theories. In any event, he rather sincerely admits that he's very glad Raige is safe, and Raige, melting a little bit before our very eyes, allows herself a hint of a starry-eyed smile as she thanks him for his concern. They end the call there, but it's clear they're going to be seeing a lot more of each other in the future, and again, I can't say the idea of that disagrees with me. Li'l Orphan Kerr, despite my ongoing annoyance with the actor, is the only character of any interest thus far this season, and I'm willing to see where they take his part of the story. For now.
All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me. Goodbye, Sparklies. No, GOODBYE, Sparklies. NOW. Phoebe regains sole control of her office, and Professional Boyband Fucktard Nick Fucking Lachey is outta here, permanently. Please let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, you obnoxious waste of time.