Episode Report Card Demian: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's Just Another Menstrual Monday
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.16.2004
The next morning, the three Ps awaken to find themselves trapped in the Crystical cage with The Bait oozing a puddle of blood onto the carpet, which, by the way, doesn't make any sense, because Whitelighters automatically self-heal from any injury that is not a Darklighter's arrow, but whatever, because who cares about this stupid episode, anyway? Raige refuses to believe they're responsible, and tries to power through the invisible force field, which of course flares up to dump her back on her ass. "So, what does this mean?" she snaps. "We're demons?" "No," we didn't turn into demons," Piper pffts. "We turned into monsters," Phoebe adds, and there's no way they'd know that, is there? Oh, fuck it. They wonder briefly if the transformation is related to their synchronized periods arriving at the same time there's a rare second blue moon in one year -- like, duh -- before Piper orders Raige to knock one of the Crysticals out of formation with her orbing telekinesis. Which should not work at all, because if it did, then Even Gayer Big Chris would have done the same to escape with the Pinhead in last year's season finale, and I really need to stop pointing out each and every example of lapsed or failed continuity in this episode, because if I don't, I'm never going to finish this damn recap, and now I've lost my goddamned place again. What the fuck was happening? Oh, yeah. Raige was breaking the Crystical circle, even though she shouldn't be able to do that, and the three rise to muddle their collective way through a plan. Basically, they're going to lie about their involvement in the Whitelighter attacks until they figure out what's going on. Raige steps over to The Bait's prone and unconscious form and orbs out with him to Not!warts for the healing he shouldn't need because his Whitelightery self should have already done it for him. Phoebe, naturally, bails due to Sparklies issues. Piper howls for an instant at this, but eventually just gives up, because she's well aware by now that trying to get stupid Phoebe to place a family crisis before her personal life is an exercise in futility.
Not!warts, where we join the healing of The Bait, already in progress. And just as quickly, we abandon the healing of The Bait in favor of watching Elder Q apologize to the Dolt for accusing the latter of mauling Mini-Ralph. The Dolt snips a pissy acknowledgment before Elder Q lectures both the Dolt and Raige on the whole Gathering Storm thing. After a bit of this, Elder Q orbs out, giving Raige an opportunity to confide in her ex-brother-in-law that Kerr Smith knows about the Gathering Storm, too, and that the Glamorous Ladies are responsible for the shredded Whitelighters. The Dolt's predictably concerned but, oddly enough, not nearly as concerned as Raige, especially when she realizes the new threat might be responsible for the indifferently CGI'd doglike things they've been turning into the last two nights. She orbs out to have another chat with Kerr, leaving the Dolt to pout.