Episode Report Card Potes: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT By the Short Hairs
By Potes | Season 17 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.21.2011
Laura is first to make her lovable hot dog. It involves all-American staples such as beans, barbeque sauce, and onions. Laura steps on set with her dog and meets photographer Ricky Middlesworth, whose aesthetic is described as "timeless glamor." He says this unironically while looking at a lady who is soon to be licking condiments off of herself. Jay tells Laura that she has to sell herself and the hot dog -- while eating the hot dog -- and keep her brand in mind. And let me tell you, if you are a fan of ladies eating hot dogs -- which plenty of people apparently are -- the next seven minutes or so are going to delight you. So, Laura's take on lovable basically involves starring in an amateur porn video with her dog. She gets barbeque sauce and chili on her arms just so she can lick it off, and somehow emerges from the shoot with shit slathered all over her chest. This girl is no doubt In It To Win It: Money Shot Edition.
Camille is next, and tries to touch her booty as she takes a reluctant nibble of her dog. Her word is proud. How do you proudly eat a hot dog? Pride and dignity are like the antithesis of what hot dogs are all about. Jay thinks it looks tense, and asks Laura to come on set and show Camille what she was doing. Bianca finds this to be scandalous and delightful. Laura goes up there and licks her arms again. She has quite a career ahead of her as a modeling coach! Camille then tells us that for her, who hasn't eaten a hot dog in 20 years, the whole thing was difficult. For Laura, however, who "lives and breathes" hot dogs every day, it was a more natural fit. I'm surprised Camille didn't surmise that Laura buys her hot dogs at the Walmart located just down the dirt road from her trailer park in Dogpatch, USA. Shirt and shoes not required! All of that is probably true, by the way. The photographer tries to convince Camille that she's having fun. You can guess how well that turns out.
Angelea is up next, and Jay tells her that he's never seen her this beautiful. She does look great. From her subsequent interview, we learn that it doesn't last. Angelea's task is to eat her persistent hot dog persistently. Is that like when you look INSIDE the hot dog after taking a bite and then continue to eat it anyway? That is a bit of a triumph of the will. Jay tells us that Angelea -- who, I may remind you, is being photographed eating a hot dog -- was so refined and beautiful, and blew his socks off. I think that Jay is drunk, to be honest.