Episode Report Card Potes: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT By the Short Hairs
By Potes | Season 17 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.21.2011
We breeze through a few folks. Dominique is a survivor. Martin tells Allison that people do NOT find her annoying -- a true aberration on this show -- and that her word is unique. Everyone is SO jealous of Allison's word. Angelea is next. Martin says that people were asked what kind of product they could measure her by. What the heck kind of question is that? I have never heard of anything so dumb. Anyway, people said "shoes" for Angelea. In fact, they said "cheap shoes." Her word is "persistence," because she persistently scours the clearance rack at Payless. Bre is next, and her word is "girlfriend." I think he means it as in, "You go, girlfriend!" Bre tells us that Martin said the girls will lose fans if they confuse them too much, because the fans won't know how to follow them. I'm sure all of you fucking idiots out there are really grateful for his help. I know I am! I've been perplexed for years, until he handed these ladies words on cards. Laura's word is "lovable," which is pretty dead-on. I hope that she doesn't stop being lovable for a day or anything. I'd be so puzzled!
And then there's Alexandria. Martin prefaces his bad news with, "I hate to tell you..." which is a lie! He lives to tell her this shit. Martin's brand is definitely not "trustworthy." He then goes on to tell Alexandria that people think she's "annoring." Is that, like, annoying and boring at once? Because I'd say that's accurate. Alexandria also says a lot of things, and there's no value in what she's saying. She takes this news from Martin with kind of a sour look, and then tells us, "My fans think I'm annoying." I'm going to channel Angelea for a moment and say, "Newsflash, bitch. They're not your fans!" Alexandria's word is "tough." She's not tough at all! She totally cries just because a stranger tells her to fuck off. Martin tells her to fake it 'til she makes it, and Alexandria just looks sad. That's so annoring.
Martin then tells Bianca that she has an amazing branding/value, which is "candid." You can see the relief wash across her face as she realizes she can drop the whole Eliza Doolittle "I want to be a lady" crap. Bianca says that when Martin told her that she could be candid, she felt like he gave her permission not to hold back anymore. She has PERMISSION to be stank! And she fully intends to roll with it. She is amazing. Bre is also pleased that Martin instructed Bianca to be candid, because she'd like to see some bitches in the house get told. And after all, if Bianca didn't start meaningless fights all over the place, wouldn't you be confused?