Episode Report Card Potes: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT By the Short Hairs
By Potes | Season 17 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.21.2011
After Martin leaves, Dominique is telling Camille how refreshing it is to have a direction to go in. Yes, how refreshing that he's given her a personality, or facsimile thereof. There's a voiceover of Camille saying that Bianca is outspoken, and that might be her strategy to win. She totally did not just say this to Dominique sitting on the bed. Nonetheless, Bianca comes peeking around the corner all stealth-like and apparently overhears something, because she tells Bre and Isis that heard Camille and Dominique talking shit about her. And Bianca was just trying to be friendly and lurk around shiftily! The three of them start talking/yelling about shit getting real, and then Bianca gets very "candid" with Dominique and Camille. Dominique claims not to know what Bianca is talking about, to which Bianca dumps her first (but not last!) notable quotable of the episode: "Put the caution around my bed because I'm about to go off." Back downstairs, several of the girls talk about Bianca's "candidness" and how a lot of them are actually, like, receiving Medicare now and so have no time for this B.S. D'Amato is hilarious as she says, "So, Bianca has just changed into another person now that she's got [this card]?" Camille reiterates for us that it's childish just to create drama because you got a word on a card. I think it's more pathological than that, actually. In a good way, though!
The next morning, Jay welcomes the girls to Siren Studios, in the heart of Hollywood. It's photo shoot day, and Jay says that today they'll feel like true Hollywood celebrities. But before they get in front of the camera, it's time for TY-Overs. A caption helpfully tells us that TY-Overs = Tyra inspired makeovers. They also tie you over until you are free and can afford to get a decent hairstyle again. The news of TY-Overs is delivered by Miss J. and Ashlee Simpson. Nobody even claps for Ashlee, for real. Except for Laura, who actually brings her hands to her face with joy. Congratulations, Ashlee Simpson, you are more exciting than bull testicles. In addition to her manifold other talents, Ashlee Simpson is apparently a designer. As if that bow tie on top of her sheer, sleeveless blouse wouldn't clue you in! Ashlee and her new blonde pixie cut are going to help oversee the TY-Overs. Jay asks when we're going to get new music out of Ashlee, and the answer sadly is not, "never." She then goes on to say that music is all about your image, and she's always changing. That, she says, defines your brand. So, basically the opposite of what Martin said. If Ashlee had a brand/value word, it would totally be "nosejob."