Episode Report Card Potes: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT By the Short Hairs
By Potes | Season 17 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.21.2011
Boring, trustworthy Shannon is next. ALT thinks that it's a great photo, although Nigel sneers, "I think it's very pretty. Is it TRUSTworthy? I GUESS I TRUST you." He spits out the word "trust," like maybe there's something going on between these two that we don't know about. Shannon practically screams, "THANK YOU!" with a demented smile as her critique ends, adding further evidence to my theory. Proud Camille is next. She has her mouth open with her hand over it in her photo, like she is trying to be coy. Ashlee thinks it's amateur hour. ALT gets a pageant vibe from Camille's perfection in person, and he and Tyra pick at her until she looks more seductive-proud. Next is Laura, with her barbeque chili money shot photo. Nigel notes that the photo is more than lovable, too lovable, and so lovable that he doesn't feel like he should be looking at it. Tyra deems it "lustable." ALT says that he gets an "actressy" vibe from Laura, by which he means that she would make a great porn star.
Next up is Isis. She made her own dress. Tyra loves it, and ALT says that she could have her own little dress line. It turns out that Isis is trying to do so. Look for her on Project Runway, wherein she will have a bitter rivalry with Grandma Wanda Sue. Isis's inspiration in her photo appears to be her phantom penis. She's mowing down a giant dog as her hand hangs in the middle of her open legs, right in front of her Beaglehole. It's rather unsettling. Nigel tells her that the photo is funny, interesting, and a bit dirty. ALT says that Isis is fabulous standing in front of him, but in the photo he wouldn't want to know her or see her, and would be running to the car. However, Tyra would stop if she saw this in a magazine. In a good way! And then she would order a 12-pack of hot dogs and make an afternoon of it.
Kayla is next. Her photo is pretty terrible. Ashlee says that to her, being free means being a dopey, relaxed hippie, whereas Kayla is too posed. Nigel asks Kayla what free means to her, and she's like "Yeah, I don't even know." ALT would like to see Kayla be like a flyaway bird, I guess with a hot dog in its beak. Allison is next, and manages to suck sauce off of her arms in a way that is amazingly not lascivious. Ashlee thinks that Allison is the cutest, but Tyra tells her that she has to make sure she doesn't veer too far over the line into cute territory. Does this mean no more Blossom hats? Curses. Then there's Alexandria. She looks a little like Cameron Diaz in her photo, and Nigel says that the whole thing looks sweet and darling rather than tough. ALT and Ashlee like it well enough, though. The question that I have about 80 percent of these photos is, why on earth would I want to eat at a place where I'm guaranteed to end up with shit all over my face AND BODY? Like, "How on earth did you get ketchup all over your shins?" "Oh, you know, hot dog at Pink's!" That's terrible advertising.