Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 16 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Hot Tubs & Hand Grenades
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.08.2013
Spencer: "Toby, shut up and listen to this scary conversation. Jason, are you aware that Mona once tried to kill him by unscrewing a piece of scaffolding?"
Jason: "That's not actually that impressive, sis."
Spencer, verbatim: "She cannot be trusted."
Jason: "Again, I am Jason DiLaurentis. I have been there. As has Toby. The fact that Toby, Mona and myself are all super creepsters, or that I have a peculiar and secret financial arrangement with Ezra Fitz is not at issue here. What I'm saying is, let's not judge."
Spencer: "Judge? The bitch tried to drive me off a cliff. Literal. A Literal Cliff."
Jason: "I hear she is on a shitload of meds now, though. Plus I am secretly doing her. Plus I am on the A-Team, just like everybody else you know. Plus, Spencer, your life is absolutely going to crush you sometime soon."
THE BREW? CENTRAL PERK? I FORGET
Aria: "Hanna, did you ever mention Ezra's baby to Mona?"
Hanna: "Yeah, we mostly just sat around talking about you all the fuckin' time."
Emily: "Not to mention that janitor that I keep talking about even though nobody cares. Who doesn't recognize us, even though he was totally nice that time."
Liars: "I bet they were friends. Maybe they taxidermied together. Or murdered."
Caleb: "Hey guys, it's me and my hair. Lucas still won't talk to me, but I did hack into the school computer and get a transcript of the meeting Mona's parents had with our principal..."
Reality: "A thing that would obviously exist, yes."
Caleb: "And look on page two, where it says Mona was the one begging to come back to Rosewood, contrary to her report."
Liars: "Wait, are you saying Mona's not trustworthy?"
Reality: "There are so many ways this information could have come to light, did you really have to cook up this bizarre transcript thing?"
Liars: "Anyway, guess this means nothing we didn't already know."
Hanna: "Wellllll maybe we could be nice to her, too."
Aria: "Yeah, until she tells Ezra that he has a child, which doesn't actually affect me in any way. That's how that bitch'll repay us."
Hanna: "Homegirl! Just tell him! What is wrong with you?"
Aria: "Everything. Just about everything is wrong with me. Look at how I'm dressed. I am powerless to care for myself in even basic ways."
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