Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 16 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Hot Tubs & Hand Grenades
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.08.2013
FITZSTANKONIA
Ezra: "Here's a necklace or something."
Aria: "Jesus Christ we're interesting."
Liars, via text: "Shit is happening, come help us by not doing anything. Like always."
Aria: "Yeah, this fascinating conversation is gonna have to wait."
Ezra: "I support you running this marathon."
Aria: "I have found a way to have a problem with that. Anyway, I have to go. My mom is not taking this Meredith thing well and I have to go watch her drink wine, since Ashley's out of town."
Outside Ezra's door is a cookie bouquet from A. The balloons say, "IT'S A BOY!" and there's a card that's like, "Just as Ezra's lovely tiny little birch-sapling body helped produce a baby, which is already absolutely unbelievable, so too will your lies grow and grow and take over your existence and eventually cause you to cut all your hair off and drive a mom car and substitute chocolate for sex. Love, A."
Aria: "You know, when I first started fucking adults in pub bathrooms, this is not the kind of high school baby problem I was hoping for. But I can work with this."
END OF THE JOG
Toby: "I love running with you! I like to pretend that I'm chasing you and I'm going to kill you."
Spencer: "Huh?"
Toby: "Nothing! Better take off my shirt here in the middle of the street."
Jason & Toby: Vibe at each other all over the place, for some reason nobody can yet say what it is. Jason wins, which is fucking amazing considering Toby has no shirt on.
Spencer: "Hey Jason, nice to see you over here, just being my brother and dealing with the dead body of your sister that we found on a train. Listen, stop hugging Mona, okay? Because I mean, you know how I'm super paranoid and hate everybody and all I think about is people I'm going to fuck up and how I'm gonna do it?"
Jason: "Yeah, I'm Jason DiLaurentis. I'm familiar with that."
Spencer: "Well, Mona is the new one. So stay away from that bitch. I'm about to get even more intense, hang on. So I don't know if you noticed this, but Ian and Garrett are both dead, and Jenna's AWOL. Mona has no connection to any of that. You see what I'm saying?"
Jason: "...No? But yes, in general I get your drift..."
Toby: "-- I'm a creepy drifter! Also, what is our relationship to each other?"
Jason: "Who can say?"
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