Episode Report Card Keckler: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Search for Phlox
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.24.2005
T'Pol asks Trip if he's enjoying his time on Columbia. "Sure, why wouldn't I?" Trip wonders. "You haven't been experiencing any problems?" T'Pol suggests. "Such as?" Trip asks, stopping to look at her. Such as, daydreaming in a Beatles album, Trip. Duh! "Adjusting to new food, new routines, trouble sleeping?" T'Pol CRACK WHORES. Trip looks at her levelly and says, "I sleep just fine -- how about you?" "Fine!" T'Pol CRACK WHORES. "You sure about that?" Trip asks. "Quite," T'Pol says. Well, I buy that, since their little psychic date took place when THEY WERE BOTH AWAKE! We haven't seen ANY evidence that they are having problems SLEEPING! So, why? With this? I mean, huh? Oh, forget it.
Quiznos that isn't. The Fresh Klingon of Bel-Air makes more threats. Phlox says he knows that the Exterminators are on their way, and he also knows that the Fresh Klingon of Bel-Air lost his son in this whole experiment. So, wait, is the Fresh Klingon of Bel-Air the same Klingon that Klingakhanette was sassing off to earlier? Is it the Fresh Klingon of Bel-Air's son who is currently aboard Enterprise? Do you want to know why I don't give a rat's ass? Because I HATE this WHOLE PLOT! There are SO many inconsistencies with future series. Like, if this whole virus was known by SO many people -- Phlox, Section 31, the entire crew of Enterprise, the entire crew of Columbia, all the Klingons, and all of Starfleet, which also most likely means that Vulcans are going to know about it -- WHY didn't Dr. Bashir know about it in the future?! Worf says they don't like to discuss the smoothies with outsiders, except, hey -- look how many OUTSIDERS ALREADY KNOW ABOUT IT! Hayayaya-yaaaate.
Brig. Reed cuts into something that looks like Salisbury steak, which, yuck. Next door, the Klingakhan throws his food against the wall. "What did they give you?" Reed wonders. "It's dead, I can't eat that!" Klingakhan growls. Oh, yes, the Klingons and their live food. Ha ha. Not. Given that Klingakhan was doing a lot of coughing last week, isn't Reed afraid of getting the virus? After all, he is the one on the ship who actually knows all about the virus. And we know it affects humans because of what Phlox does to Quantum later. Reed and Klingakhan debate the immortal issue of brawns vs. brains. God, WHO CARES? Reed tries to get guidance from Klingakhan about how Klingons struggle with the moral issue that he's currently facing. Simple, they don't ever question their superiors. However, if the superiors are wrong, they are imprisoned or killed. If they aren't allowed to question their superiors, how are the superiors ever determined to be wrong? "That's not how we do things in Starfleet," Reed Wesley-smugs. "Which is why the Klingon Empire will defeat you," Klingakhan snarls. Reed looks up: "Then how come you're in the same brig as I'm in?" Oh ho -- Reed is SO incisive when he's not blubbering all down his Spy Daddy shirt! Klingakhan doesn't have an answer to this zing, so he flings himself on his cot.