Episode Report Card Keckler: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Search for Phlox
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.24.2005
Enterprise. Klingons ships drop out of warp, and T'Pol can't tell Columbia because the ship's signals are sticky with Klingon jam. I'm going to take a big leap and assume that Columbia has also seen the ships, so you'll have to forgive me if I don't get all worked up over this communication breakdown.
Quiznos that is making me hungry. Alarms sound as everyone realizes that the Exterminator and his ships are upon them. Flee! Flee! Quantum tries to update Enterprise on the cure and how he's about to become the Second Kahless, but he can't get through. Oh. Darn. The Exterminator comms that he's got orders to exterminate the colony. "You don't have to do that," Quantum says, stepping on all sorts of ridged Klingon toes by responding to a call that was not directed at him. "My doctor can stop the plague." Do you like how he worked in that Phlox is his doctor? What an ass. The Exterminator says he has his own sort of vaccine. And it's one that doesn't require you to drop your pants. "Hello, Admiral Krell," Phlox calls out. His tone made me choke on my drink. It's so friendly and normal and unfurrowed. "This is Doctor Phlox. I am transmitting the details of the antivirus -- feel free to have your physicians confirm my findings, and you're welcome to call with any questions." Yes, do please call. And if I'm out, please leave your calling card and we'll take tea when next we are free. The Exterminator growls that his orders are clear, and shouts at Quantum to surrender his ships. Quantum doesn't answer. He furrows.
The Exterminator gets ready to raze the planet and salt the earth. Enterprise plots an intercept course but still can't get through to Columbia. As the Exterminator fires on the colony, Enterprise zooms in and targets the Klingon ships' disruptors. The medical center rocks. The Fresh Klingon of Bel-Air yells at Quantum for his ship's inadequacies. Quantum still can't get through to his inadequate ship.
Firefights in the sky. I will get twice as high. Take a drink 'cuz Quantum's a dink! Bleeding Painbow! Bleeding Painbow, Painbow, Painbow!
Columbia finally joins the fight with some trite witty pâté from Cpt. Happy Pants. Can they ever think of anything to say other than, "Looks like you could use a hand" or "We thought you could use a little help" or "Looks like we arrived just in time"?! Cpt. Happy Pants turns to a red-stripe and says, "Let's keep those ships off their tail." Because she wants them on hers!