Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Home on the Rage
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.21.2004
Trip and T'Pol gaze soulfully out at the Star Trek III: The Search for Spock set. Or should it be that they gaze "katra-fully"? Man alive, I CRACK myself up! Yeah, I know -- it's good I CRACK someone up, right? T'Pol confesses that she's decided to marry Frank Lloyd Vulcan in order to save her mother's career. When Trip "dudn't git it," T'Pol confirms that the decision was hers since her mother lost her position because of T'Pol's actions. Well, the P'Jem actions were actually mostly Trip and Quantum's, but whatever. I'm kind of annoyed that Trip doesn't even take the smallest amount of responsibility. Instead, Trip creels about T'Pol leaving Starfleet and Enterprise. T'Pol CRACK WHORES that she's been negotiating with Frank Lloyd Vulcan's family. "Negotiating?!" Trip says in angered disbelief. Hasn't he read any Jane Austen? "They've agreed," T'Pol CRACK WHORES on, "we won't have to reside together -- not right away. I'll remain on Enterprise for the time being." Trip's all bitterness and sarcasm. "Trip, I have to do this...for many reasons," T'Pol continues. Well, she called him "Trip," she must CRACK WHORE him very much. Trip asks how he's supposed to take this. With a grain of salt, honey, with a grain of salt. T'Pol apologizes tearfully. Ye gods, hasn't Phlox cured her YET?! "You're sorry? You brought me sixteen light years just to watch you get married to someone you barely know," Trip accuses. Okay, a little fairness for the Vulcan, here. Trip? She hardly dragged you kicking and screaming all this way. She took pity on you because you were all, "Oh, woe is me, I lost my sister and now have no place to roam." T'Pol has nothing more to CRACK WHORE to him. Trip snorts and walks away. T'Pol sadly watches him go.
Quantum and Cpt. Grandchick Happy Pants climb together. They gaze out at the view bathed in sunlight. After Quantum fondly remembers the mountain range on the planet of Psychotropic Pollen (the what range? We didn't see that, did we?), Cpt. Grandchick Happy Pants talks about reaching their next summit by nightfall. She wants to press on. However, Quantum says, "I think the view's fine from here," as he unlatches his gear with meaning attached to every belt he unbuckles, every plastic clip thing he unclips. Cpt. Grandchick Happy Pants looks at him in surprise. "I'm glad you tagged along," Quantum says, and rushes to help her off with her gear. Oh, yeah, they did it all right. Cpt. Grandchick Happy Pants says there's still one thing she doesn't understand. "Whas'that?" Quantum asks. Here it comes. "Why did we stop seeing each other?" she asks. "Well, I was your superior officer -- it wasn't appropriate," Quantum sanctimonies. Oh, now you hold that belief? You nozzle. Cpt. Grandchick Happy Pants says, "You're not my superior anymore." Uh, I think she meant "superior officer," but nice slip there. They mack loudly. "I wonder if Starfleet would approve," Cpt. Grandchick Happy Pants says mid-slobber. "The captains of the only two warp five ships?" "You're forgetting the climber's code," Quantum says huskily. Oh, dear. Oh, dear -- Bakula's really got that raspy aroused timbre down and I'm not sure that I don't like it. Plus, uh, nice arms. I think I need cooling drink -- where's that pumpkin ale?