Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Home on the Rage
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.21.2004
Dusk is starting to fall on El Capitan, and Quantum looks up into the night sky and reminisces about the planet of the psychotropic rock people. He expresses more bitterness about not being ready for space, and Cpt. Granchick Happy Pants tries to put a positive spin on the saving of Earth that they recently did, which seems a bit...yeah. Since Quantum doesn't think they should be gallivanting around space, Cpt. Grandchick Happy Pants asks what they should do with their ships, "put them in mothballs?" I'm beginning to think this woman isn't qualified to be a Starfleet captain -- I mean, who puts a spaceship in mothballs? Sheesh. There's more self-pity going on than I feel equal to recapping so I'll leave it at:
Quantum: Wah!
Cpt. Grandchick Happy Pants: Aw, let me stroke your ego and other parts.
Moving on.
Vulcan. T'Pol confronts T'Ma about her forced retirement. T'Ma says that the Ministry drummed up charges against her, so she took retirement instead of being asked to leave. T'Pol determines that this all happened because the Vulcans blame T'Pol for the incident at P'Jem. Man, Continuity has never wet his pants as much as he has in this episode. I think it's time to break out the plastic sheets for the rollaway bed. T'Ma informs T'Pol that she's made many enemies on Vulcan. Yet, T'Mommie Dearest is pressuring her to come back? And Frank Lloyd Vulcan wants to marry her in spite of her infamy? Whatever. T'Pol jumps up and CRACK WHORES that punishing the mother for the t'sins of the daughter is criminal. "You've changed. Your emotions were always close to the surface but you managed to suppress them. It's because of this Commander Tucker, isn't it?" T'Ma asks. And there we have it -- a pat explanation for why T'Pol has never acted like a normal Vulcan. Fine. I'll go with it because if I don't, I will burst a blood vessel and, after four years, I don't have many of those left. T'Ma goes on that Trip is the reason why T'Pol broke up with Frank Lloyd Vulcan. Um, it really wasn't, since she made that decision in the first season when the writers were still thinking of tossing her into bed with Quantum, but whatever. "Do you really think that a human and a Vulcan can have a future together? Imagine the shame your children would endure -- assuming the two of you can have children," T'Ma goes on, witheringly. T'Pol stands behinds her mother's head all menacingly, and CRACK WHORES, "That wouldn't be your concern!" Ooh, it's the "you'll never see your grandchildren" threat! I haven't been able to pull that one yet -- "You'll never see our cats again!" doesn't seem to carry the same weight. T'Pol CRACK WHORES out of the room.