Episode Report Card Keckler: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cap'n Don't Preach
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.16.2001
In the engine room, Trip's on one of those skateboard things mechanics use to slide under cars when he starts to act really dippy, screeching to Cpt. Quantum that he's got a fever: "Ah'm havin' trouble focusin', breathin'. Ah rilly think Ah need to git back, Cap'n!" "And Ah think Ah'm seein' those rock people agin!" Mathra drawls, sawing at the air. Cpt. Quantum first tells him to sweat it out, and then gets concerned by his ravings. Especially when Trip tells him the hum of the ship's engines makes him want to pee. Okay, not really. Cpt. Quantum's all fired up to get him outta there until the Greeter Alien, who Cpt. Quantum calls Trena'l, tells him that Trip resisted their instructions to get forty winks before starting work. Ignoring all his protests that he just wants out, Cpt. Quantum coms Trip and says, "Take a nap, Trip, that's an order." Why doesn't he just tell him that these aliens are consorting with the Rock People and Trip needs to get a little shut-eye in order to perform covert operations in his sleep? Hey, it worked in the LSD episode.
Femalien takes Trip to some sleeping quarters. There's a black-out and Trip awakens in an Eames sleeping chair to the sound of ocean waves. Femalien approaches him and tells him, "Your Captain sent the recording. He thought it might help you relax." Aw, that Cpt. Quantum, always so solicitous when he sends his crew on lethal missions. Did he send lavender eye shades as well? "Are you feeling better?" Femalien asks. Trip nods, points to the wall, and asks, "What's that?" With a pirouette, Femalien reaches over and says, "Our food, it grows all over the ship." She plucks a piece off with a flourish of the wrist and eats it. Cool, just like Willie Wonka! She offers Trip some, who shakes his head and tells her he'll pass, so Femalien, with another pirouette-ish move, picks up a large bowl from the floor and says, "This is the closest we could come to water." She picks up a piece of something and brings it to Trip's mouth, but he recoils. "Trust me," she murmurs. She feeds him. Trip tongues it over, mouthing, "Hmm." Femalien sticks her hand back in the bowl, and we can see a bunch of crystal-like pieces. Big fat alien deal -- it just looks like ice. She feeds him another piece, and blue sparks emit from it as her scaly skin touches him. "Did that hurt?" she asks him. "Not really," Trip tells her. Nothing a vat of Lubriderm won't cure. Femalien continues feeding him and sparking him. Well, bring out the whipped cream and call me Mickey Rourke. Trip says, "It's kinda nice. Does that happen when you people touch each other?" "Something similar. Have you had enough?" she asks. Trip shrugs, "A man needs a lot of fluids when he's under the weather," he says meaningfully. Yeah, try translating that idiom into alienese. Femalien feeds him another ice cube, which results in more anvilsome sparks. Trip looks deep into her alien eyes and she backs away, saying that, since he's feeling better, they should get back to work. "Can we take some of those with us?" Trip asks hopefully.