Episode Report Card Keckler: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cap'n Don't Preach
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.16.2001
Cpt. Quantum tells him that as it's been over a week, they may have to consider the possibility they won't find the Xyrillians. "What's that supposed to mean?" Trip says, his mouth stuffed with food. "Are you saying I'm going to deliver this baby?" Phlox says he thinks the Captain is saying more than that, explaining, "Once the child is born, it may well rely on you to take care of it." "I'm the Chief Engineer, I spent years earning that position," Trip says between even more mouthfuls of food. "I never had any intention of becoming a working mother." Cpt. Quantum tries not to laugh at Trip's dismay and tells him that his gestation period should only last another five or six weeks. "You should expect to begin experiencing some unusual symptoms, hormonal changes, mostly -- mood swings, heightened emotions." Crying at Hallmark commercials, sending Reed out in the middle of the night for Moo Shi chicken. Cpt. Quantum suggests Trip keep wearing his civvies: "It seems to hide the…bulge." Every episode is about something bulging out of Trip's body, isn't it? Trip asks how much bigger "this thing" is going to get. Before Phlox can answer, Trip gets out of his chair, saying, "I'm already the laughingstock of the ship." Honey, you were that before the pregnancy thing. Trip calls the steward in and tells him he'd love some more of the chicken tetrazzini. "I'd like you to start seeing the doctor every eight hours. As your delivery date gets closer, he should be able to start figuring out what your post-natal responsibilities might be," Cpt. Quantum tells him. "'Post-natal responsibilities,'" Trip repeats incredulously. "You may very well be putting those nipples to work before you know it," Phlox says. Finally, a crewmember other than T'Pol who will be putting their nipples to use! The steward chooses this precise moment to deliver Trip his tub of chicken tetrazzini, which Trip snatches, glaring him out of the room. Cpt. Quantum hides another smile and tells him, "There's a bright side to all this. As far as we know, this is the first interspecies pregnancy involving a human." Trip sighs, alone in bewailing his barefoot-and-pregnant state.
The bridge thinks they've picked up something on their scanners. "Looks like their signature," Mayweather reports. T'Pol, swanning about the bridge, orders them to proceed on an intercept course and tells Cpt. Quantum they may have found the Xyrillians. "Thank god!" Trip says, through -- what else? -- a mouthful of food. As the three of them beat a hasty retreat, Trip grabs a handful of breadsticks. They arrive on the bridge, and Cpt. Quantum asks for a report. "We're approaching the coordinates, I've analyzed the stealth telemetry. I believe it's them," T'Pol says, carefully sliding out of the Captain's chair so everyone can admire her body. Cpt. Quantum orders them to impulse: "Hoshi, try to get an image." They see a ship. "Doesn't look very stealthy to me," Reed comments. They go in for a closer look. "If the Starship profiles the Vulcans gave us are correct --" "They're correct, Lieutenant," T'Pol interrupts, "that's a Klingon battle cruiser." We get a good look at the Klingon ship from TOS, newly enhanced with CG windows. When T'Pol found the Xyrillian signature, wouldn't she have found them in the Klingon plasma trail and therefore have likewise fetched up the Klingon ship? Not very thorough of her, or the writers. However, at this point, I did start to think that perhaps there were wheels within wheels and that the Xyrillians were not the innocent dermatologically-challenged aliens they appeared to be.