Episode Report Card Keckler: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cap'n Don't Preach
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.16.2001
On the holodeck, Cpt. Vortok overlooks the Klingon capitol and says, "I can see my house from here!" Hee. "Can this technology be adapted to our power matrix?" Trena'l says he's sure they can make it fit. Back on his ship, Cpt. Vortok says that once the Xyrillians are done installing the holodecks, they can bugger off. Cpt. Quantum says he appreciates their help in the baby matter. "I hope the next time we meet we can be of help to you," Cpt. Quantum says, always eager to please foreigners. Cpt. Vortok leans into his screen and tells Cpt. Quantum to heed his words: "Our debt is repaid. We have no interest in 'meeting' you again. If we do, I promise you'll regret it." Yep, that's a holodeck we'll never see in the future.
At the Captain's table, Trip comments, "The only thing worse than spending three hours in a decompression chamber with a bunch of Klingons is having to do it twice in one day. I smelled things in there I hope I never smell again." Like you're really summer-in-a-bowl to them, Commander Postpartum. Cpt. Quantum tells them that the Xyrillians should be at their home planet in less than a month. "No more hitchhiking?" Trip asks. Cpt. Quantum shakes his head and turns to T'Pol: "That business about the Klingon Chancellor calling me a brother -- was that true?" "Klingons are known to exaggerate, I saw nothing wrong with doing the same," T'Pol says, sipping her water. Cpt. Quantum and Trip exchange one of their "that T'Pol!" looks. "Your appetite seems to be back to normal," Cpt. Quantum says, addressing Trip. "I'm eating for one again," Trip says, clearly indicating that his table manners still haven't changed. T'Pol tells him she ran a check in their database: "You might be pleased to know that this is the first recorded incident of a human male becoming pregnant." Except for that Danny DeVito/Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. "Just how I always wanted to get into the history books," Trip sighs. Or on Jerry Springer.
Next week on Enterprise, the crew stumbles upon The Lost Colony Of Roanoke but finds more than "Croatoan" written on a tree, and now, if you'll kindly excuse me, the emotional strain through which I have recently passed has left me sorely in need of refreshment. Ta, folks.