Episode Report Card Erin: B | 161 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT You Give Me Fever
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 2003.12.07
Will somehow believes this and pulls back a bit. This gives Syd the chance to take the gun away and point it toward him. She's all, dude? I could totally hurt you right now. But I won't. You're my best friend! You're my oldest friend! I lurve you! Will's all, dude? Then why are you aiming that gun at me? Syd tosses it to the ground. "Oh my god," he says, realizing that she's really Syd. She runs into his arms and they embrace, Will smiling with relief. And tons of charisma. Yowza. I missed Will. Or, I should say, I missed Bradley Cooper. Prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen. Slurp.
Then we're in some random parking lot. Sloane walks up to a car and raps on the window. Penis Head's inside. Heh. I just got a random mental image of a big penis sitting in a car. Heh heh. I need professional help. NOW. Sloane gets into the car and informs Penis Head that he found the marksman for the Sydney assassination and he costs $500,000. Penis Head is fine with this price and tells Sloane that if the marksman jugs it, Sloane can kiss his freedom goodbye, 'cuz Penis Head'll hand over the dossier on Uncle Arvin's extracurricular activities to the Justice Department. Sloane just looks at Penis Head as if he'll soon be spouting blood and guts and oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself here.
Now is the time on Alias when we dance. ["I actually witnessed the dance last Sunday, and all I have to say is STAAAAND BACK, PEOPLE." -- Sars]
After we dance and get more cold bevvies, we rejoin Creepy Cronenberg in the Dream Dugout. Kaya is thankfully nowhere to be seen. There's a knock at the door, and Cronenberg goes to answer it. Well, look who it is. Little Sarkie Poo. He introduces himself to Cronenberg by way of shooting him in the left leg. What, he can't shake hands like a normal person?
Diner of Long Lost Friends and Their Once-Dead Love Interests. Will's recounting what happened to him after Francie stabbed him. Namely, that he woke up in the bathtub, the place was on fire, he crawled out and woke up a few days later in a hospital. He's all, dude, the fact that I wasn't actually dating Francie, that it was her double instead? Yeah, I used to think that story was the crackerjack expo of all time. But yours? I think yours kinda tops it. Syd just looks at him and says, "She survived. Alison Doren. The woman you thought was Francie." Will's smile disappears. "She's working with a group called the Covenant. We think they're the group responsible for kidnapping me and setting the fire." Will looks like he just swallowed an iguana covered with hot sauce. He's all, dude? I used to think of myself as a pacifist, you know? But, um, now that I know that bitch is alive? Yeah. Fuck pacifism. Get me a gun and a compass and I'll hunt that fembot down and smoke her ass. Heh.