Episode Report Card Erin: B | 161 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT You Give Me Fever
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 2003.12.07
So, Lazarey was a Russian lackey, basically, but he also happens to be a Romanov. He goes on to say that his being a Romanov by blood is one of the reasons he staged his death. To give Sark the inheritance that is rightfully his. Sark's all, oh, yeah, nice spin, Daddy. You should know that the money you earmarked for my affections is now being gainfully used by my employer, The Covenant. "Julian," says Lazarey, "the Covenant…they are…true evil…" Julian's not interested in the Covenant, however. He's only interested in Will and what Lazarey said to him. "Huh," says Sark Daddy. "Patetic." And, yes, the misspelling is intentional. Sark Daddy kind of looks away from his son, as if he's too disgusted to even acknowledge Julian as his own blood. Julian looks at his father, the expression on his face all, "Oh, 'patetic,' am I? We'll just see about that." Sark picks up a mini blowtorch and tells his father that he'll give him a minute to remember exactly what he said to Will. Lazarey doesn't respond. "I'll ask you one more time," says Sark, brandishing the blowtorch, "what exactly did you tell the man you were meeting with?" "You wouldn't do something like zis," says Lazarey. "Not to your own fazzer?" Sark then holds the blowtorch directly to his fazzer's face. We hear his screams. Aw. Too bad, Lazarey. Your son doesn't hold you in high enough esteem to save you from the mini blowtorch. Shocker. Go physically abuse some other family members and see how THEY react.
Moscow Safe House of Already Done It Best Friend Sex. Syd's lying in Will's arms and suddenly she goes, "Oh my God." Will's all, "I know it's weird. I've been waiting to do that for, like, eight years." Heh. So have we all, Will. So have we all. Syd suddenly gets up out of bed and puts on her pants and is all, no, what you said about me before! About me being, you know, "me." Will's all, dude? I don't remember, okay? Could you just come back to bed? Syd's all, Lazarey asked if "they" have it and if "they" had been to Graz. "Whatever it was that was hidden, whatever he was talking about," says Syd, "I obviously had it. I must have had it. In Graz." Will just kind of lies back in bed, wondering why Syd isn't interested in a repeat performance of the Best Friend Sex they just had.