Episode Report Card Erin: B | 161 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT You Give Me Fever
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 2003.12.07
A car pulls up. Syd gets out. She moves over to Penis Head. The shooter, Hot Guy, looks down upon them from behind his sniper's rifle. Syd walks up and faces Penis Head, in all his un-glory. Hot Guy takes aim. First, Syd's in his sights. "On behalf of the U.S. Government, I want to say, how relieved I am at your safe return," says Penis Head. Oh. Okay. If that alone weren't reason enough to NOT TRUST HIM. Syd just stands there. Hot Guy takes aim. A red circle appears on Penis Head's chest. Heh. Syd realizes that someone has Penis Head in their sights. She looks behind her all, dude! No! You can't! Oh, but they can. And do. And goodbye, Penis Head. We knew you well, but we sure as hell didn't like you.
Syd goes to Penis Head, looking to help him in some way, I guess. The rest of the NSC boys go in search of the assassin, who we're all calling "best boyfriend EVER" right about now. The next thing we see is a dark alley somewhere and a car squealing up. Sloane's hanging out next the open bay of a big truck. He moves forward. Syd gets out of the car and slings forward. "You murdered [Penis Head]," she spits. Sloane's all, oh, yeah, I have NO idea what you're talking about. Syd's all, yeah, where have I heard that before? She runs to the truck and rips open the crate that supposedly houses the Rambaldi device. Inside, she finds useless clanky parts.
Syd looks at Sloane. He's all, dude? I did everything that you asked. I followed protocol precisely. Syd's all, dude? This was your endgame! The whole time! Yeah. Clanky parts was his endgame. The whole time. Whatever, Sydney. Sloane's all, oh, sure, go on blaming me! I'm used to it! Or, if you want a different tack, you can accept the truth! Syd's all, and that is? PENIS HEAD, says Sloane. He was the deceiver, not me. Penis Head never gave us the Rambaldi device! "It was a setup," says Sloane. Syd jumps down from the truck bay and steps up to Sloane. "I don't know how you did this," she says, "but you're not gonna get away with it." "I don't know what you're talking about," says Sloane convincingly. Syd just stares at him like she knows what he's all about, and he just looks back at her like, girl? You have NO idea.
Oops Center. Syd slo-mos through the place. She comes upon Dixon, handing out orders to his subordinates. She avoids dealing with him and heads over to her ex-boyfriend and her father. She's all, oh, isn't everything falling back into place? We're all, um, they were in a truck and NOW THEY'RE FREE? Yeah. I'd like a little video backup on this, okay? But Syd looks at Vaughn and says, "Thank you, by the way, for everything." Vaughn just half looks at her and goes, "Yeah. Whatever. I have to ignore you now or your father's going to beat me to a pulp. So. Later! I have to go meet my wife, who hasn't been present during this entire damn episode!" Jack looks after Vaughn's retreating back with something akin to…dare we say it…approval. Syd looks confusedly after Vaughn, but quickly gathers her senses.