Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 8 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Something Bitchy This Way Comes
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.06.1998
Piper barges back through the door, unfortunately interrupting what was shaping up to be an immensely satisfying catfight. She brightly offers to whip up a "FAB-ulous reunion dinner." "I'm not hungry," Prue drones, exiting into the parlor. "Ate on the bus," Phoebe sighs, heading towards the kitchen. The camera pulls in towards the fidgety, fluttery, frustrated Piper, who rather unconvincingly chimes, "We'll try the group hug later."
Cross-fade to the Bimbo Boudoir. Phoebe, strangely, has a television in her room. A female reporter details the latest murder as Phoebe pops a zit on her chin over at her mirror. Piper enters in a robe with a tray of snacky treats and iced tea for the Feebs. The two perch on the bed and gaze at the newscast for a bit. Piper excitedly points out her boyfriend, Jeremy, in the background at the crime scene and yes, it's the same guy who was talking to Andy earlier. After a bit, Phoebe wonders aloud why Piper didn't tell Prue she was moving back into the Manor. Piper quite rightly informs Phoebe that she should have done so herself. "Good point, Chicken Little," Phoebe absently replies. "Chicken Little"? The hell? Whatever. I doubt they'll ever explain that one, so let's talk about Phoebe's look for a moment. Her hair is styled into a bob even more drastic than Prue's that just covers her ears. More importantly, her clothing is distressingly normal. Yes, her black floral spaghetti-strapped top sets off her cleavage to great advantage, but few women in their mid-twenties would be embarrassed to claim it as their own. She's even wearing a bra, for Christ's sake. I can't deal with this. They all look so normal. It's like I've fallen into some Bizarro Charmed universe, where unfettered tits are frowned upon and all of the people have jobs. Well, all of the people save Phoebe, of course. Piper and Phoebe establish that Prue isn't the easiest gal to confide in, mainly because she's been a sort of maternal authority figure to her younger sisters ever since their real mother died. As if to prove this characterization, Prue enters with a couple of additional blankets for Phoebe, for the Bimbo Boudoir "always was the coldest room in the house." Does that explain THE NIPPLES in later episodes? Phoebe thanks her warily. Prue's expression indicates that Phoebe's presence in the Manor will be tolerated, however reluctantly, because while two-timing boyfriends may come and go, slutty man-stealing sisters are a joy forever.