Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 8 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Something Bitchy This Way Comes
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.06.1998
Over in the warehouse district, Jeremy lures Piper into the abandoned building, and the two climb into the freight elevator. Once they're locked in, Jeremy inadvertently indicates that he's aware Phoebe's back in town. Piper calls him on this, so Jeremy pulls out his big, bad, witch-killing knife. "I've waited six months for this," he slithers as he and Piper circle each other in the elevator. "Ever since Grams went to the hospital." Jeremy knew that after Grams died, the sisters' powers would be released sooner or later, and Phoebe's return was his sign that this had come to pass. "You killed all those women!" Piper pants. "All those women"? Piper, there were only three. It's not like he's the Green River Killer of the warlock world, hon. Jeremy confirms this, flicking out a jazz hand as he does so. The eviscerated blonde's little spurts of flame dance above his fingertips. "It was the only way to get their powers," he smarms as the sound editor runs his voice through an effects machine to give it an appropriately raspy demonic edge. "And now I want yours," he continues, as the worst effects shot bar none on this series smushes his features together until Jeremy resembles a Photoshopped mutant gargoyle. He lunges at her with the knife. Piper flings her hands out defensively, freezing both Jeremy and the elevator in the process. In the silence that follows, the only sound we hear is Piper's ragged breathing as she frantically tries to formulate a plan of escape. She hoists herself up and out of the elevator. Jeremy suddenly unfreezes and latches onto her leg. Piper grabs a discarded two-by-four and whacks the warlock in the teeth. He of the glass jaw goes down like a French prizefighter. Piper scrambles out of the warehouse, leaving Jeremy slumped unconscious against the elevator wall.
Manor. Phoebe plays back a message from Roger wherein he begs Prue to return to work as Prue herself waltzes into the hallway with Kit. Piper screeches through the front door and asks Phoebe if the Book of Shadows can tell them how to get rid of a warlock. Kit scampers off to raid the fridge. Meanwhile, Jeremy comes to, leaps out of the elevator, and promises, "I'll get you, you bitch," as he trundles off into the mist-enshrouded commercial break.
Hey, did you know that some choices change lives, but that Joey Potter's choice. Changed. EVERYTHING? You learn something new every day.
Manor parlor. Piper and Prue finish shuttering the windows, and Prue proposes they call the police. "And tell them what?" Piper yowls. "That some freak with powers beyond comprehension is trying to kill us?" Nice one, Piper. Phoebe appears on the landing to tell them she's found the answer they've been looking for in the Book. Prue and Piper charge up the stairs.