Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 8 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Something Bitchy This Way Comes
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.06.1998
Hear now the words of the witches,
The secrets we hid in the night.
The oldest of gods are invoked here;
The great work of magic is sought.
In this night and in this hour,
I call upon the ancient power:
Bring your powers to we sisters three.
We want the power.
Give us the power.
Far below, the chandelier in the parlor shudders on its moorings as if the Manor were caught in an earthquake. You all know what happens next, because it's been a part of every credits sequence since: Rays of whitish blue light fan out from an unseen source to dance in the prisms of cut glass and flood the parlor. Over on one of the sideboards, twinkly little fairy lights glow as the figures in the framed photograph Grams took of Piper, Prue, and Phoebe blur. The images of the three, who had been standing some distance from each other in the shot, move closer together as the camera pulls in towards the frame.
"What are you doing?" Prue asks as she and Piper enter the attic. Phoebe babbles about the magical door and the incantation she just read, and passes the Book to Prue. She adds that the Book mentions "the three essentials of magic -- timing, feeling, and the phases of the moon." "If we were ever gonna do this," she explains, "now -- midnight on a full moon -- is the most powerful time." "'This'?" Piper asks. "Receive our powers," Phoebe giddily elaborates. "'Our powers'?" snots Piper. "You included me in this?" Prue acidly notes that Phoebe included all three of them in "this." It goes without saying, perhaps, that the Prueminator is pissed.
Down in the street in the rain, the slickered stalker gazes up at the Manor.
The gals descend the stairs to the ground floor, bickering about what Phoebe may or may not have done. "Everything looks the same," Piper announces nervously as they reach the main hall. "Everything feels the same, so nothing's changed, right?" The three pass the photograph, oblivious to what the twinkly little fairy lights have wrought.
Down in the street, the slickered stalker strides away from the Manor and into the commercial break.
Hey, did you know that Grosse Pointe is the name of the show within the show called Grosse Pointe? Oh, wait. It was canceled a year and a half ago. Fuck it.
The next morning, Piper emerges from the Manor carrying a chef's uniform still in its dry-cleaning bag and finds Phoebe perched on the front steps with a cup of coffee. "You're up early," she notes with surprise. Phoebe never went to bed. Piper cracks wise about spending the evening flying around the neighborhood on a broomstick. Phoebe giggles and claims she's never owned a broom in her life. She actually spent the night reading the Book of Shadows, and imparts her newfound wisdom upon Piper. "One of our ancestors was a witch named Melinda Warren," Phoebe reveals. "And we have a cousin who's a drunk, an aunt who's manic, and a father who's invisible," Piper snarks with a grin. She heads down the stairs to her car as Phoebe leaps to her feet to follow with further details. Melinda Warren could "move objects with her mind, see the future, and stop time." Or manipulate the molecular structure of objects, thereby freezing them or blowing them up as she saw fit. It's your call on that last one. We then learn of Melinda's infamous prophecy about the three most powerful sister-witches in the world. This is all old news, right? I can skip through it? Good. Piper hops into the SUV and tools off as Phoebe calls after her, "We're the protectors of the innocent! We're known as the Charmed Ones!" A passing extra nearly rams his bike into Phoebe's legs, because stoopy here is standing in the middle of the frigging street.