Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 154 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT When You're Weak
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.01.2013
Veronica calls to whine and moan, just like Jackie Fucking Florrick intended, but really the whole episode is about this. Well, about two things: Number one, showing us the dark carnival of jagged rocks and broken glass that is the insides of Will Gardner, and number two, getting to watch Alicia spin forty-seven plates on stage at Ed Sullivan while wearing six-inch heels. The more mother(fucker)s show up to give her grief, the more things go wrong with this party, the more she shines and glows, and remembers who she is.
It should not feel sad, to see her ascendant and Will digging these gouges in himself. It shouldn't be sad because she did the right thing -- she saved them, both. And he'll get it eventually. And her breakdown is coming; it's emotional which means, for Alicia, it's getting mailed from very far away. But it's coming. All of these things are true. And yet, glorying in her sexy competence and the way he can't get to her, it's not as satisfying as it should be, because however intimate we are with Will Gardner -- especially after this episode -- that's where she is, all the time. Which makes him just another spinning plate, for the simple reason that he has to be, and somehow that breaks my heart more than anything.
GOV OFC
Jackie: "[Mindless prattling, to the point that you really start to feel her desperation and loneliness and maybe, almost but NOT QUITE, feel bad for her. Like, she already picked out an outfit for their date slash this party, and feels like this is a noteworthy thing she should tell people.]"
Marilyn: "Alicia, can you possibly associate with a better class of people before Friday?"
Alicia: "Marilyn Garbanza, I don't know how else I can make it clear that I am more than willing to physically fight you."
Eli: "I tricked her into joining my team, Team No Fun Ever, by pointing out that Colin Sweeney once got a plea bargain, and therefore Ethics. Mitch, is your baby a composer in there?"
Marilyn: "No, it's my annoying belly speaker system, where I blast not only my baby but also everyone around us with music they don't want to hear."
Alicia: "That makes me think your baby has secrets from the NSA."
Eli: "Please disinvite Colin Sweeney!"
Alicia: "What's funny is that I know you jerks probably already asked Peter not to come, and now you have to come through me, which is bullshit. But sadly I am not doing that. Firstly because it's rude to disinvite a guest from a party and I physically cannot. And second of all, the last time somebody disinvited Colin Sweeney from a party he ate their liver with some fava beans."
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