Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 154 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT When You're Weak
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.01.2013
Eli: "No, he most certainly doesn't."Peter: "Donna, do you like parties?"
Donna: "How fast can we get there."
Peter and Donna, oh how they laugh. Eli Gold, how horrified can he be? I would think this makes Donna the stalking horse, though: Does it matter if the internet finds a picture of Peter talking to Colin Sweeney or whoever, if Donna is right there also being horrified? Who is left, at that point, to give a shit? Just little Eli. Little tiny Eli in his elf boots, stamping feet and clutching fists.
Alicia: "Eli? I can't hear you because of all the noise at this party of scum!"
Eli: "Alicia, we're ... oh Jesus ... we're coming to the party."
Alicia: "You say that like it's a murder spree. Great!"
Eli: "We're bringing ... God, this hurts ... Donna Brazile."
Alicia: "Did you just goddamn say you're bringing Donna Brazile to my office party?"
Sometimes she's married; it's very simple, sometimes.
Eli: "It's nuts but you know Peter and how much they love him when he starts working them."
Alicia: "Yeah, we have that in common."
Eli: "Is Colin Sweeney there? Has he murdered anybody yet or impregnated any blowjobs yet?"
Alicia: "He's not even coming, you little cutie."
Eli: "Thank you Christian Christmas Jesus! I won't ask about the million other people I should be asking about now, because that puts me all at ease."
Alicia: "Hey can you please bring Marilyn Garbanza too? J/K LOL."
Kids: "Are we millionaires yet?"
Alicia: "In terms of how much we love each other."
Kids: "What can we buy with that?"
Alicia: "Nothing. You use money to buy things. Money like you get from how your mother and father are both fucking rich as hell anyway. You're the children of a high-powered lawyer and a state governor, give me a fucking break already."
Alicia: "Oh shit, son! Lemond Bishop's over there, Eli's gonna go ham."
Kids: "Who is Lemond Bishop? He seems awesome."
Alicia: "He is very awesome. He has killed more of his wives than even Colin Sweeney. But the headline is, he's also the top drug dealer in Chicago."
Zach, verbatim: "Sometimes I think of you as Mom, and other times just as this interesting person who lives at our house."
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