Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Schlong Day's Journey Into Raige
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.01.2004
Not!warts. Piper carries on with her interrupted research as the dead-eyed and mulleted Psycho does something impossibly wicked on the floor. In orbs the Dolt, who's greeted with a smile from the ex-wife and a "Deh-deh" from the sociopath of a son. I think he was trying to say, "Dead! Dead!" as in, "You will be dead once I am old enough to slaughter your worthless and massive ass! Do you hear me? Dead! Dead!" More chatter, the only important part of which is the Dolt's revelation that he used some of his magical pixie dust to wipe the car salesman's memory of the robbery so the guy would drop the charges against Big Gay Chris. Piper makes to chide him for using the dangerous dust, but then smiles and allows, "You're a good father." The Dolt grins and replies, "I hope you say that again in 23 years. I wonder where we'll be then." Piper glances down in her lap for a long moment, avoiding his eyes, before turning back to evaluate his expression. I wonder if she's considering telling him what we all know of her truncated future. After a pause, she simply responds, "Me, too." The awkward, shy half-smile the Dolt had been sporting vanishes and the two stare at each other for a bit before breaking their gaze. Piper once again examines her fingernails.
Manor. Raige lounges in the parlor in front of the flickering fireplace, lost in thought until Phoebe enters to greet her with an affectionate "Hey, sweetie." Much more chatter, during which we learn both that Phoebe made her deadline without relying upon her still-revoked powers and that she’s no longer in such a hurry to get them back. Slampiece Wonder Bread wanders in, so Phoebe rises to give the two a little alone time together. And…still more chatter. Seems the Dolt's arranged to have Slampiece Wonder Bread enter the big, bad world as a real, live boy. I wondered what he'd do for a living for all of five seconds before I remembered that I really don't give a shit. And that's pretty much it, really. Raige offers him a kiss on the cheek, they tell each other to take care, and the screen fades to black. That's a little abrupt. And more than a little unsatisfying. Oh, well. We must remember: This show is ass.
Next week, the Glamorous Ladies get caught up in a demonic reality show by the name of Witch Wars. If Omarosa and Hatch show up in a bit of May Sweeps stunt-casting, I'll quit. Or, you know, I'll die. Death, people! Death!