Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Schlong Day's Journey Into Raige
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.01.2004
…flash over to his black-clad and far more sleekly coiffed doppelganger, somewhere deep below ground. He stands before a posterboard display similar to the one we saw at the top of the hour, then turns to address a group of Demonatrices assembled on the other side of the chamber. "Three weeks ago, I came to you," he exposits, getting rough with the various Flearing Floozies by yanking on their hair and too jovially smacking his fists into their shoulders and such. "And what was the first thing I told you? Let me remind you: Trust me. Trust in me and my raison d'etre." If I have to keep typing that phrase tonight, someone's going to die. Probably me, but still. Death, people! And why are they dredging it up from the depths of last fall again? It was never properly explained to the audience in the first place, and no one on this damn show can pronounce it correctly anyway, so why -- why -- couldn't they have dropped it? Wouldn't be the first time a supposedly major character point just vanished, now would it? Whatever. This show hates me. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Wonder Bread's doppelganger gets loud, shouting something about how one of the ladies present dropped the ball, or something. "I'm sorry, Vincent," last night's lead floozy pleads, "you know that I live only to please you." How terribly antifeminist of the Underworld. Dim idiot deserves what's coming to her, I suppose. Vincent tells her to zip it, then takes a couple of menacing steps backwards before reciting the following:
What once resided in this place
Shall soon be gone, with no haste:
Make this girl age in time
As punishment for her heinous crime.
Completely ignoring that whole "with no haste" bit, last night's lead loser morphs quickly from floozy to crone to skeleton before dissolving into a cascade of bone fragments and dust that drops to the cave's floor. Not bad, that. Also: Thank God the camera remained on the demonette's face during that effects sequence. I wouldn't have wanted to see that old chick in the pleather, you know? Vincent "reiterates" for the benefit of those Demonatrices who remain that he doesn't want the Glamorous Ladies to find him until he's ready for them. "Especially [Raige]," he adds as he turns to enter what appears to be an underground replica of the nonexistent attic, complete with mullioned windows and a little empty stand for the Book of Shadows. Tonight's true leading floozy follows him into the room and, sliding her hands all over his chest, wonders which demon falls next on Vincent's hit list. "Not a demon," he reveals with a slight grin. "A Porsche."