Episode Report Card Omar G: B+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Breastplate and the Bad Cop
By Omar G | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.14.2002
Back inside, MeanCop takes the breastplate off its stand. It's awfully light for being made of gold and jewels. "We are going to make a great team," he effuses. MeanCop puts the plate in a big zipper bag. Clark x-ray-visions outside and sees all the guards standing around the "bomb." "We'll never be a team," he says; he grabs the bag, and tosses it outside. The bag crashes through a window and lands at the guards' feet. It would have been funny if it crashed into MeanCop's car like last time. Lex opens the bag. The breastplate thinks it has finally found its true master.
Inside, Clark yells to MeanCop that he's nobody's patsy. He tells MeanCop that his fingerprints are all over the plate. "You may be strong, but you're not bulletproof!" MeanCop yells. He whips out a gun and shoots at Clark. I thought Clark was bulletproof. Well, he must not know that because instead of taking the hit, Clark dodges in Bullet-Time. Gun fires. Bullet spins toward Clark. This is the slowest, lamest, longest Bullet-Time shot ever. If this were The Matrix, five guys would have already gotten their asses kicked and we'd be at the closing credits. It's not even real Bullet-Time. It's just slow-motion with a CGI bullet in the air. Clark spins and actually crosses the air-trail of the bullet after it passes. The bullet smashes into another glass display. Thus endeth the great non-Bullet-Time sequence.
MeanCop spins around, trying to find Clark, but Clark is playing speed-tag. "What...are you?!" MeanCop growls. Lex and the guards rush in. MeanCop shoots at them. One of the cops manages to hit MeanCop in the chest. They all rush over to where he's lying. "Where's Clark? I know he came with you," Lex asks, quietly so nobody but MeanCop can hear. "Just tell me what you had on him," Lex commands. "Guh -- go to hell, Luthor," MeanCop finally says. Then he presumably dies, buggy eyes still open. Oh, so sorry, Lex.
Kent kitchen. Bo Duke walks in on Clark and MamaKent, saying that all the charges have been dropped. Couldn't they have met him at the jail, or at least strung up a banner that says, "Welcome home from the pokey, Daddy!" Bo says he received profuse apologies from the fuzz. MamaKent gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek and says it's finally over. Bo pisses on the parade and says there's more than one MeanCop out there. Clark asks what they'll do next time. Bo says they'll just have to deal with it when the time comes. What kind of pissant plan is that? Clark offers to stop using his gifts. Except x-ray vision during gym class. Bo says he should just use some caution. Everybody smiles. "Are you sure nobody saw you last night?" MamaKent asks. Clark says he's positive.