Episode Report Card Omar G: B+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Breastplate and the Bad Cop
By Omar G | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.14.2002
Clark walks down some steps and says to himself, "Well, welcome to Metropolis." He sees a homeless man sleeping on a bus stop bench with a little dog next to him. Just then, a big bus careens around a corner, coming straight for the bench. Inside the bus, an old man with a large bushy white moustache has a heart attack. Did I just see a flash of green light? The bus, out of control, slams into cars along the street, bouncing left and right like a pinball. Can you see what's coming next? Sure, you can. Ugandi tribal children who've never seen a television know what's going to happen next. After the bus passes Clark and he takes the longest pause in superhero history, he zips in front of bus, protecting the Benji-like dog who doesn't even have enough sense to move. Clark leans into it, giving the bus the old shoulder. The bus stops, snaps, explodes. The little dog whines in approval. Clark leans back. His jacket is only torn a bit in the shoulder despite the metal and fire. Guess it's a special grade of polyester. The homeless man still sleeps. Suspense music plays as Clark spots people coming out of the museum. He zips away at fast speed. The bus driver emerges, unhurt despite slamming into a superhero at about 40 mph. MeanCop comes around and examines the wreckage. Oh, what are you gonna do, slap the old man around? In the glowing sparks of the accident, he looks evil indeed.
Opening credits. My, how I missed this song. New scenes have been inserted toward the end of the opening credits, ending with Mom, Dad, and Clark hugging at the end of "Jitters."
Kent Farm. Midday. Clark walks in on Bo Duke trying to lift something with thick chains in the barn. With all those chains hanging, it looks like the set from one of the Hellraiser movies. Bo is struggling mightily, so Clark offers a hand. Literally, one hand. He lifts what looks like a tractor engine block on a pallet. Why are they hanging it up like that? Is this rural conceptual art? MamaKent calls Clark a night owl and asks how his evening in Metropolis went. They didn't talk to him when he got home? What happened to their overprotective ways? Clark mopes that the museum was fine, but that something happened. He explains about the bus by showing them a newspaper article about the crash. "What if somebody had seen you do it?" Bo Duke grouses. That man is reverse-aging before our eyes. MamaKent says it looks like there were no witnesses, so it's fine. Clark mopes off to school, but not before MamaKent prompts Bo to tell his son how proud of Clark he is. "I'm real...proud'a ...what you did," he says, awkwardly. You can tell he just wants to have the ability to knock his son around once in a while. Sadly, it will never be. MamaKent agrees about being proud. Clark gives his megawatt smile. It blinds the camerman, and we're forced to move on to another scene.