Episode Report Card Omar G: B+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Breastplate and the Bad Cop
By Omar G | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.14.2002
By way of an answer, we see Clark and MeanCop pull out of the farm in the MeanMobile. But, hey, what's this? A very fancy silver Jaguar hidden among the crops? It's Lex, and he's following. Go, Lex! Go straight to commercial!
I love B.B. King, but even his mighty blues won't save Burger King.
Metropolis Courthouse Museum. Clark asks what he and MeanCop are doing there. MeanCop says that since he couldn't get his internal affairs records, he's going to pick up his retirement package. Thievery! "The breastplate," Clark says, because he can't get that little bit of fashion out of his head. MeanCop is all man: he doesn't give a damn about the breastplate. He just wants the $10 million in jewels it's encrusted with. Somewhere across the Atlantic, Elton John is ordering up a $10 million breastplate and matching sunglasses.
On the roof of the museum. Clark asks if they're just going to bust in. MeanCop says he has access to blueprints, so he knows the place better than the architect. Shouldn't they be wearing hoods or something? What about all the security cameras? MeanCop tells Clark to open up a steel security box and disable it. There's some discussion of that. MeanCop is getting annoyed with Clark. With his Marty Feldman eyes, he hisses, "If you want your old life back, you do it." Clark pulls off a steel lid so that they can disable security. "What about guards?" Clark asks. MeanCop calls the museum and phones in a bomb threat. He tells whoever answered that there's a bomb outside the building that will go off in two minutes.
Lex puts his hand on MeanCop's car hood to feel for warmth. If he's been following, wouldn't he know the car's just been used? Maybe he just wanted to feel what a commoner's car felt like. Just then, Lex sees a bunch of guards running out of the museum yelling, "Bomb!"
Roof. Wires are clipped. Clark is still mopey.
Out front, Lex peeks into a newspaper machine and sees a sealed brown box. Lex pops in a quarter and opens the machine, despite the fact that it clearly says the paper costs seventy-five cents. That only makes sense if he put in a dollar coin. Lex grabs the package and pulls it out of the machine.
Inside. The breastplate of ruling the world with a velvet spike. "Kid...show me the magic," MeanCop says. Clark rears up and bends a bunch of steel bars. Then he punches through the glass. "I'm free!" the breastplate thinks, "And it's FABulous!"
Outside. Lex opens the box. It's just a big alarm clock. He tosses it back to one of the guards, who catches it in fear.