Episode Report Card Omar G: B+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Breastplate and the Bad Cop
By Omar G | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.14.2002
So Clark breaks in. He pops the top lock in, presumably with his superfinger. He sneaks in to the tastefully decorated apartment. With his x-ray vision, he finds a safe. Clark smiles, mischievously.
Outside. MeanCop is waiting. Behind him, his car sits innocently. Oops! This must be a Wile E. Coyote cartoon, because a safe just fell on MeanCop's car from the sky. MeanCop's eyes do a Bernie Mac as he looks physically pained. Clark calls from upstairs. Wouldn't the IA agent have heard all this? Clark then does his fast-motion run, flashing downstairs to face MeanCop. We can hear sirens approaching. "Want your file? It's all yours," Clark says, and hands MeanCop his document. MeanCop asks if Clark called the police. Too late. Clark zips away just as the police cruiser arrives. "You're making a big mistake, kid!" MeanCop yells. Overhead shot of the police getting ready to bust him.
Several commercials later, Clark is back in the kitchen, where nothing ever seems to be cooking. "Morning, guys!" Clark says. He thinks he's still at the YMCA, hanging out with all the boys. MamaKent, leaning over the counter with Bo, asks when Clark got in. "Late," he says. He lies that he was working with Lana at the newspaper. Bo asks whether MeanCop has been around. "Don't worry, Dad. I think he's out of our lives forever," Clark says. Before he can explain, there's a knock at the door. It's two Smallville cops, Bob and Ethan. Those are so not cop names. They say they have a warrant to search the property. Uh oh. They're gonna find themselves a spaceship! MamaKent comes to the screen door and stares vacantly, looking like a blow-up doll, almost. They say they got a tip from Metropolis P.D. Just then, another cop comes in and says, "I think you'd better take a look at this." Whenever a cop says that in a TV show or movie, it's never good. It never turns out to be a bucket of gold, or a pretty sunset.
What did I tell you? In the barn, there's a dead body. Specifically, it's the guy who was getting beat up by MeanCop at the top of the episode. "Looks like he was shot in the heart," one of the Barney Fifes says. Bo Duke, of course, looks sick with concern. Clark signifies shock by placing a hand on his mouth. MamaKent gasps, in her noble, quiet way. Bo says he's never seen that man before. The cop who found the body makes another find: a gun in Bo's truck. Despite his denials, Bo is so busted. Bo tells Clark to call Bill Ross (Pete's dad?) and meet him at the jail. MamaKent goes with Bo. "You're not taking him!" Clark whines. Bo gives him a stern talking-to and tells him to stay behind and be strong.