Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 93 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Crappily Ever After
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 2002.09.29
Just then, the Woodsman rudely interrupts the reunion by crashing through the sun-porch doors, the gleaming and hefty hatchet in his hand. He swipes at Piper with a blow that should have whacked off her arm at the shoulder. Instead, Piper tumbles to the floor with a slight scratch on her bicep. Whatever. Grams dives to Piper's side as the Woodsman takes a swing at Raige, who instinctively cringes and orbs out, allowing the hatchet to embed itself in the wall. Raige rematerializes, and the Woodsman backhands her across the room. Meanwhile, the percolating infant knits up the wound on Piper's arm. If you ask me, that's a pretty nifty evolutionary adjustment to external threats for the brat, but if they overuse it -- which they will -- it's going to become incredibly annoying. Then again, this development tends to push the Dolt further into irrelevance as far as the Glamorous Ladies are concerned, and any development that reduces Dolt screen-time is fine by me. The Woodsman retrieves his hatchet and hoists it above his head to relieve Piper of hers. Piper shrieks and freaks and flings out her hands. The Woodsman howls and explodes in a gout of flame, leaving the hefty hatchet to drop to the floor. Piper grunts, "What the hell was that?" Yep. Exactly.
As the Dolt scampers down the stairs to apply the tingly touch to Raige's pimp-slapped noggin, the camera tracks back through the Mirror Mirror. Rusty fades into the glass to snipe, "Try as you might, fairy tale magic ends at midnight." Cloris remains unconcerned. The Woodsman might have failed, but she herself won't. She retrieves a red apple and the Lucite pumps from their respective pedestals, gestures with a flourish of her free hand, and smokes on out into the commercial break.
Attic. Raige and Grams head to the Book of Shadows to research axe-wielding demons while Piper crosses to her Big Book Of Fairy Tales on the sofa. The Dolt flails uselessly in the background. Despite the fact that no known demon stomps around with a hatchet, Raige insists that the guy had to have been Hell-sent. Piper disagrees and holds up the illustration of the Woodsman facing Snow White's entry. Raige protests the idea of fairy tales coming to life as patently ridiculous. Grams lays a little science on her granddaughters, noting that every fairy tale is based upon actual events. Raige makes "whatever" faces behind Grams's back. Shut up, Raige.