Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 173 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Never Was There A Tale Of More Woe!
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2003.10.19
Back at the Manor, the Dolt lopes into the kitchen with Raige's bloodstained white top, which he presents to Piper for inspection before dropping it into a simmering pot on the center island. Piper's working some heretofore-unheard-of mojo on the blouse to learn if Raige was hit with a Flaming Ball Of Whatever The Fuck I'm Supposed To Call These Things Now That Cole's Dead, or if the Flaming Ball was actually something else. The Dolt, trying his best to sound casual but ending up sounding desperate and lonely -- like, blow it out your ass, you pathetic piece of garbage -- asks, "So…how was your date?" "Short," is Piper's curt reply. "You mean, like, leprechaun short?" the Dolt teases. Piper allows a smile and explains that her date "was cut short" by their current crisis. There's a bit more of this before Piper gasps and points to Raige's soaked blouse, which has begun to glow. "It's getting lighter," she exclaims, "which means [Raige] was not hit by a [FBOWTF-Demian's-STCTTNTCD] -- she was hit by a plasma ball, and plasma only occurs on the spiritual plane." Ooo-kay, hon. We'll go with that. Phoebe barges in to announce that the Montanagues and Callapulets have arrived. Piper steers the dimwit and the ex-husband atticwards for a séance.
Attic. Piper explains to Lord Callapulet that a ghost is responsible for the late unpleasantness, and turns to offer a few séance instructions to the others assembled in the room as she lights a couple of candles. The most important of these instructions is "not to break the circle" before they've helped the spirit "move on," otherwise they'll have an irritated ghost "running amok" through the streets of San Francisco. Benvolio, agitated, tries to bolt, but Slampiece Buttfuck holds him back, insisting they remain to "see this thing through." Benvolio has good reason to be agitated, as we shall see, but let's first join the séance already in progress.
The group rings the table upon which Piper has placed the candles, and, one by one, they link hands. There's a moment of silent tension between Lord Callapulet and Lady Montanague before they finally latch onto each other, completing the circle. Piper turns to Raige, who recites the following: