Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Only God Can Make A Brick
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 08.30.2004
What pisses me off is that Nicole is next seen crying in the taxi. You did this to yourself, sweetheart. In honor of your hair. I like her, for the most part, and I get how tired she is, but if she finds this so painful, she ought to get out of the fuckin' cab and let them shave her head. Otherwise, she's made the call, so she has nothing to cry about. She goes on to whimper that it was her decision to go for the FF, so it's all her fault and so forth. Brandon insists that it isn't her fault. Sad music plays, and she cries, and he comforts her, but I really don't feel that sorry for her. She just refused to shave her head for a chance at a million bucks or a substantially better runner-up prize, not to mention blowing one of the only shots she's ever going to have to look like a genuine bad-ass, so...I mean, boo hoo. Do it or don't do it, but don't make the soft call and then expect sympathy. Brandon asks if she wants him to pray for her. Now, I have nothing against people praying for you -- I've had some very nice experiences with people praying for me or for members of my family at critical times. But..."Want me to pray that you'll recover from choosing between a million dollars and your hair?" That's...I don't know. Anyway, he goes on to pray, "We just trust You, and You're ultimately going to get us to wherever You want us to be. In Jesus' name, amen." And Nicole says, "Amen." And Brandon gives her a kiss. And yes, I'm happy he prayed for guidance and not victory, but...still. IT'S YOUR HAIR. I also admit having had a really funny vision of God being all, "I can't believe she didn't shave her head. Doesn't she know this is probably an elimination leg?" Yes, I believe God watches The Amazing Race. And drinks margaritas, too. Made me in His image, you know.
Karen and Linda are returning to the train station, lamenting the trains that are leaving. The Twinkies are arriving there at just about the same time. Outside on the platform, Linda is back to griping about the money. "Dammit, I'm mad. I hate to be eliminated because I'm stupid." Karen now gives a rather surprising interview, in which she talks about how much Linda has been "whining" recently. "I just wanted her to be quiet," she says. "God, Karen, I can't believe," Linda whines on the platform, right on cue. "If you're gonna whine, just shut up!" Karen voices over, giving us a lovely episode title that honestly could have been said by almost anyone, if you think about it.
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