Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Only God Can Make A Brick
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 08.30.2004
Chip and Kim pull into the water park. They note the operating hours, and then head into the tent, where shirtless Colin and tank-top Christie are already snuggled into bed. Before this whole thing can turn into a Cinemax movie, Colin -- wearing a little pendant, just like Dawson Leery -- interviews that he really digs Chip and Kim, and he feels like he can trust them. Wait, maybe it still is going to turn into a Cinemax movie! "We can help each other get into the top three," Colin says. Oh, okay, maybe not, with the porn. I mean, it's close, with the "get into" and the "top" and stuff, but it really doesn't hang together. Hey, but "Hang together" would fit. Wait, where was I?
Oh, right. Cut to Chip and Kim. "Chip and I want Colin and Christie to self-destruct," Kim says calmly. Snerk. The teams have a friendly chat in the tent, in which Chip claims to have driven quickly because he "used to be a wheel man for the mob." He does this complete with "wheel man for the mob" hand gestures, which is pretty amusing. Kim assures Colin and Christie that Chip was no wheel man, and that they, in fact, got lost on the way there. Chip interviews that he and Kim want Colin and Christie to underestimate them, and that they're looking to get him pumped up and showing off for everyone including his girlfriend, thinking that might get him to screw up. It's an interesting theory. I don't know about its soundness, but it's inventive. Also, it fits with Chip and Kim's tendency to occasionally do knuckleheaded things, so if the "underestimate" fits, I suppose you wear it with all the flair you can.
"Karli!" Kami says from the back of the Twinkiemobile, "We're completely lost!" Now there's a shocker. They flag down a guy, and the Ineptly Sexy Theme bocka-wockas as they go up to talk to him. He's actually pretty cute, which is kind of sad and unfair. They ask about Wild Wadi, and he offers to lead them. One of them also compliments him on his "nice accent." Wow, creative. I never would have thought of that piece of witty repartee. They interview that they "turn[ed] on their charm." Wait, do they have charm? Where have they been keeping it? Maybe it's somewhere in a little change purse marked "K," which is why they can't find it. The guy gives them twenty bucks, and then they give him a big hug. While he's hugging them, he looks right at the camera and conspiratorially says, "Twins!" Which is much funnier than it should be. And kind of awesome, because he's directing it at us, not at them. I have news for you, Twinkies -- he's not laughing with you, he's laughing over your shoulders. Anyway, they admire his nice car as they follow him along the highway. I say they give that guy his own show.
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