Episode Report Card Erin: B | 135 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Ding-Dong, The Moronen's Dead!
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2004.05.23
Palermo. Syd's stalking around with her gun, looking for Moronen. I should warn you in advance that the fight you're about to see is a pale, pale imitation of the Best Girlfight Ever. They'll never top it. No matter how hard they try. Moronen comes up from behind and wraps a scarf around Syd's throat. "Guess who?" she asks. Well, considering that the archeologist is deader than a doornail, I'd think that this situation doesn't really require a lot of guessing, dumbass. There's throwing. And kicking. And flinging. To their credit, it appears that Jennifer and Melissa did quite a lot of their own fighting. Still doesn't make it better than the Best Girlfight Ever. And that's okay. Because that fight rules and always will.
Wendy Kroy: There will never be any fight greater than the Best Girlfight Ever.
Regina: Not even in The Matrix movies?
Wendy Kroy: Girl, please. Did you SEE Reloaded?
Regina: I did. And…yeah.
Wendy Kroy: Yeah.
Regina: There is not enough Keanu beauty in the world to eradicate that monstrosity from my mind.
Wendy Kroy: Amen.
So, more fighting and jumping and kicking. Syd corners Moronen with a big handle or something, choking her, and Moronen says, "If you kill me, you'll never know the truth!" "This is the truth!" hisses Syd. "Sucks, doesn't it?" Hee. Moronen gets away and says, "You think the CIA couldn't find you when you went missing? Or that you learned what happened to you by chance?" Syd ignores her, and more fighting ensues. They both pick up shovels and go at it. When there's a break, Moronen continues, "If your mother's really been helping you since she left, why haven't you ever spoken to her?" Syd's all, quit trying to buy time, you mousy little twit. More hitting and kicking. "You can't believe that both you and your sister just happen to be agents," says Moronen, performing a slice with her shovel. "This isn't gonna work!" says Syd, performing a slice of her own. "There's a bank in Wittenburg," gasps Moronen. "A numbered vault! Proof --" Syd launches an attack, and Moronen counters. Kicking. Hitting. Shoveling. Urm. Yeah. So, Moronen somehow corners Syd with her shovel handle, choking her on the ground.
"We're both pawns in the same game," says Moronen, doing that familiar I Am The Villain So Right Before I Kill You, I Must Tell You Everything dance. "The difference between us is I know who controls me." Syd spies something across the way -- a gun, I'm assuming. Moronen sees this. "Who controls me?" asks Syd. "I guess you'll never know," says Moronen, knocking Syd with the shovel and running for the gun. She makes it back and is about to shoot Syd in the head when we hear Vaughn shout, "Stop!" Moronen quickly grabs Syd and hauls her up, putting the gun to her head. Vaughn orders Moronen to let Syd go. Moronen orders Vaughn to put the gun down. He won't. "If you love her, you'll put the gun down!" Vaughn immediately puts the gun down. He doesn't drop it, mind you; he just lowers it. "You really are a boy scout," Moronen quips. Vaughn raises his gun and shoots her. She starts to fall, and Vaughn shoots her again, just for good measure.