Episode Report Card Erin: B | 135 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Ding-Dong, The Moronen's Dead!
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2004.05.23
And millions of Alias fans get up from their sofas and begin a chorus of "Hallelujah!" Complete with angels singing.
Moronen drops, and Syd runs into Vaughn's arms. They embrace strongly, ignoring that whole punctured lung thing that Vaughn has going on. Syd pulls back. "What're you doing? How did you get here?" "Via a tesseract," says Vaughn. "It was easy. And I met these great kids along the way. They were looking for their dad." Okay, no, so he just says, "I came for you." And yeah, it's really sweet. Or it would be really sweet if Moronen weren't getting up off the damn ground. Syd and Vaughn move in for a kiss. FINALLY. Moronen starts to stand, Syd pulls back and looks at her hot savior boyfriend, and just then, Vaughn sees Moronen and shoots her. And shoots her. And shoots her. And shoots her. "1…0…6…2…" Moronen manages to gasp out before Vaughn delivers the final bullet. Moronen drops down into the pit and out of sight. And no, no "thud" is heard. She's SO coming back next year. But I'm going with the notion that she's really dead and that her coming back next year will be in flashbacks only. And yes, I am praying for the first time in fifteen years. And lighting candles. And saying novenas. Are you there god? It's me, Regina.
Vaughn asks Syd what that whole number thing was about. Syd just says she doesn't know, and leans in for a distraction kiss. Vaughn is easily distracted. Oh, and the kiss is really good. Or maybe I'm just that desperate.
Wittenburg. Syd's in an elevator with some guy, and she's wearing a really hot red wig and some glasses. She gets out of the elevator and is escorted to a safety deposit box room by some old guy. He shows her to her box, and Syd passes by box number 1062. Old Guy leaves, and Syd immediately gets out her ACME Safety Deposit Box Crack Kit. She pulls out a Home Depot Safety Deposit Box Lock-Freezing Mister and sprays it into the locks of 1062, freezing them or something. She easily tweaks the locks off and pulls the box out. Inside is a specially locked folder of some sort. Syd pulls out the handy Menard's Locked Folder Deciphering Wand and easily unlocks the folder. Inside is a top-secret folder. Inside that top-secret folder is another folder. And inside that folder is a black document with the CIA seal on it. Good god. This is like those damn Russian nesting dolls. Soon Syd will just get down to a single piece of paper that'll say "get more shoes" or something.