Episode Report Card Erin: B | 135 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Ding-Dong, The Moronen's Dead!
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2004.05.23
Wendy Kroy: Well, I certainly do!
Regina: It speaks!
Wendy Kroy: Oh, I'll speak up in favor of Sark jerk--
Regina: Don't.
Wendy Kroy: What?
Regina: Just…don't.
Wendy Kroy: [seething silence]
Regina: That's better.
Moronen/Syd continues futzing with Marshall's work, and then she tells Sark she's uploading the Rambaldi equation now. And that's when Marshall enters. He's all, hey, Syd, whassup? You seen my USB key? Blah blah blah, my baby, bling blam blooey, duplicates of the USB key, flim flam flotsam, hey there, is Moronen getting her gun ready, click clack clatter, ha! found the USB key, yimmer yammer ying yang, see ya later, Syd -- hey, why are you downloading the Rambaldi equa--BANG! That's right, Moronen shoots our little Marshall. Right in the gut. He goes down with a moderate look of surprise. Moronen informs Sark that she has the equation and that she's going to corrupt the database. Her dirty work done, Moronen finally leaves. Marshall just bleeds.
As soon as Moronen exits the room, Marshall struggles up and hits a hidden button beneath his desk. An alarm goes off. And, no, before you can ask, it's not a SILENT alarm. It's a big, honking, decibel-creaking SCREECHER of an alarm. Yeah. Because that's not gonna tip her off or anything. Moronen just tells Sark to activate the countermeasures. "Head down, love," says Sark in response, hitting a button on a device. A bomb goes off four feet away from Moronen as she just keeps walking. Vaughn sees her. "Sydney!" he shouts. Moronen ignores him and continues on her way. "Call on line one, Mr. Vaughn," snarks Sark. Hee. Another bomb goes off. And another. And another. Vaughn chases after Moronen. More bombs. Weiss finds Marshall. Jack runs up, and somehow, Weiss knows where the bombing remote is located. Stunningly, it's the exact location where Sark is right at this moment. Can you believe it? But of course, Jack probably already knew that. Because he's eeeeevil, don't ya know?
He's playing the good guy at the moment, though, and he informs someone via cell phone that they have a location on one of the intruders. And Moronen's running right toward him, actually. With Vaughn following closely behind. Before he can catch up, however, Moronen leaps out from the shadows and smacks him with a crowbar or something. The camera pans down, the crowbar is tossed onto his chest, the camera pans back up, and we see Moronen removing her Sydney mask, just like when Drew Barrymore removed her LL Cool J mask in the first Charlie's Angels. Despite the dumbass masks, it's a nice camera move, even though we totally know that Jennifer Garner did the initial hit, threw the crowbar, leapt out of the way, and Melissa George stepped in to complete the scene. And yes, Ken Olin is our director boyfriend. He really is. So, Moronen runs off just as Sark is caught by all sorts of CIA cars. God. This guy honestly gets caught all the time. Maybe he really liked his crib as a baby or something, because he sure as hell loves being behind bars.