Episode Report Card Erin: B | 135 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Ding-Dong, The Moronen's Dead!
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2004.05.23
Outside in Oops Center proper, everyone's getting bandaged up and attended to. One guy actually appears to weep openly over a fallen fax machine. Yeah. I don't know. Vaughn enters, bearing his usual expression of the last few episodes: general rage. He passes Jack, who looks after him as if to say, "Hey, kid! Do you know any women I can impregnate for the purposes of creating a Rambaldi child that will grow up and have babies with another Rambaldi child and bring about the destruction of the earth? I gotta schedule to keep!"
Minutes later, Vaughn and Jack are having a private meeting of Cuckolded Husbands Anonymous. "Hi, I'm Vaughn," says Vaughn. "And I'm a rage-aholic who's addicted to chasing down and killing his wife." "Hi, Vaughn!" responds Jack. Vaughn goes on to tell Jack that he used that key Jack gave him, and he's ready to move. As the Shaky Camera of This Is Gritty Realism Here, Pay Attention! jerks all over the place, Jack fills Vaughn in on the plan. Which is, um, namely, to get Moronen before the CIA gets her and puts her into custody. See, once the CIA figures out that Moronen was responsible for the Oops Center bombings, they'll totally chase her down, find her, and incarcerate her, making it nigh on impossible for Vaughn to put several hundred bullets into her and dump her body into a salt pit. Jack doesn't want to see this happen. That's just the kind of guy he is.
Dix walks up and says that Sark ain't talking. Hasn't even requested as much as a glass of water or a lawyer. Jack suggests that Vaughn talk to him. Dix is all, uh, given the fact that Sark just tried to KILL him, do you really think that's a prudent idea? Jack is all, dude? Trust me. Sark's a pussy. The guy's caved before out of fear, and he'll do it again, especially if we send in the guy he so recently tried to torture. Let's go get the little blond bastard. Knowing that Jack's really sending him in there to get Moronen's location out of the little blond bastard (who, yes, I know, is really not so little, but he sometimes has an elfin appearance, so roll with me here), Vaughn just sort of plays down his total and complete joy at the possibility that he'll be able to do really bad things with electric rods and Sark's nipples. "As the director," says Dix, "I can't sanction the beating of anyone in our custody." Hee. He's totally saying, "Dude? I can't sanction it, but in case it happens, KICK HIS ASS." Vaughn agrees to share any intel he receives after breaking all of Sark's knuckles. Unsanctioned, of course.